louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Category: Uncategorized
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Cats and full moons, Mesdames et Messieurs: whatever you’ve heard, it’s all true. A few nights ago, during the full moon, Louis Catorze’s behaviour was utterly out of control, with relentless hours of racing around, whining, screaming and so on. As usual, Cat Daddy slept through it and he didn’t believe me when I told…
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Now that summer is properly here, Louis Catorze is permanently out. And by that I don’t simply mean he is spending more time outdoors than he used to. I mean we never see him, EVER. Sometimes Cat Daddy has even had to cancel Boys’ Club meetings due to low attendance, which is unheard of. Occasionally,…
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Our pubs are officially open from today. However, Cat Daddy and his boozing buddies have decided that they won’t be heading back to the Cock and Bull* quite yet, and that they will continue their virtual drinking meets for the time being. This is great news for Louis Catorze, who loves the Friday night Zoom…
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Louis Catorze’s ears are now almost completely bald, and they look more like pigs’ ears than ever before. Cat Daddy is convinced that the sunblock somehow “killed the hair follicles” so, even though this is highly unlikely, I stopped applying it just to see what would happen. But I think he has continued to lose…
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Louis Catorze has a new sound. Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs, his repertoire of sounds is no longer limited to the ones mentioned here: https://louiscatorze.com/2018/11/11/je-gueule-donc-je-suis/. We can now add Le Chien Blessé to the list, and this sound is exactly as one would imagine. If you have a dog, and your dog has ever been shut…
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Good news: Brentford beat West Bromwich Albion on Friday night. Bad news: although we desperately scoured the television for a glimpse of earless Louis Catorze on the giant banner, we weren’t able to spot him. Even worse news: Brentford happened to score just as Cat Daddy was having an intimate papa-fils moment with his boy…
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It is unbelievably, painfully, brain-vaporisingly hot. And Louis Catorze wants lap cuddles. But, when he settles on me, it makes him/us even hotter. So he meows disdainfully as if it were all my fault and steps off. But then he wants lap cuddles again. So he steps onto me and settles down once more. As…
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A couple of evenings ago, when Cat Daddy was putting out the recycling, Louis Catorze escaped out at The Front. Then he came to the window as we were watching television and stared in unflinchingly and creepily. We ignored him and carried on watching television. He continued to stare. Cat Daddy: “I’m going to have…
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Cat Daddy and I are thrilled that the football is back. Louis Catorze would have preferred it if we were able to invite the boys* round to watch it, bien sûr, but I think even he accepts that compromised football is better than none at all. *Catorze is, however, still able to get his virtual…
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The summer solstice is here, the football is back, AND it’s also our wedding anniversary today. We will be celebrating at home, of course, but I know that Cat Daddy misses pubs and would far rather be there. (Remember when there were pubs?) Not long ago he was recalling one pub, in particular, that he…
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The fur around Louis Catorze’s slowly-regrowing tattoo sleeve has turned a reddish-brown. The first time I saw it, my heart almost stopped because I thought it was sunburn, and I felt like the worst person in the world for not thinking to protect my poor boy’s bald arm from the sun. (He would have looked…
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Because I am usually at work when our cleaning lady is round, I don’t often get to see what Louis Catorze is like when she is cleaning. Most cats would run for the hills at the sight of a stranger brandishing a vacuum cleaner but, whilst he doesn’t love the sound of it, he’s not…
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It’s almost 12 weeks since lockdown began and, merci à Dieu: NO MORE VIDEO CALLS. I’ve had to deal with a number of them for work, of course, which is fine because there’s an actual point and because there are actual new things to say, but gone are the social video calls which make me…
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My hay fever symptoms started early this year – 20th May rather than the typical 1st June – and, somehow, my regular management methods didn’t seem to be as effective as they were last year. Then I discovered that I’d had the foresight to write myself a reminder last July in the Notes section of…
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