Since the vet gave Louis Catorze an appetite-stimulating pill, he has been perma-hungry and perma-screamy. But, because of Ocado Zoom’s dismal failure to deliver, he has no food. This is not an optimal combination.
So I have spent both the end of 2020 and the start of 2021 hand-sifting through dried cat food pellets and painstakingly separating the small golden ones from the large brown ones, like a downtrodden PA to the stars arranging the M&Ms into colour order for my OCD rock star boss. And it has been every bit as awful as it sounds, especially as I am going to run out very shortly and I don’t know what to do if my next plan doesn’t work.
Worse yet, Catorze has been pacing up and down as I sift, screaming at me to hurry the hell up. Sainte Marie, Mère de Dieu: I thought his normal screaming was bad, but this new medication has turned him utterly demented. The only thing that stops him, of course, is me getting my phone out to video him. Then, when I put down my phone, he starts again, and obviously I can’t film and sift at the same time so you’re just going to have to take my word for it.
Luckily I have had my beloved husband, Cat Daddy, at my side throughout this grim process, supporting me with helpful comments such as “Well, he never asked for his food to be changed in the first place” and “He’s being like this because he’s picking up on the tension from YOU”.
After seriously considering making Catorze eat the New Year’s Eve Branston pickle (see previous post), we continued our search for LITERALLY ANY high-protein fish-only food which would arrive quickly, and this was not as straightforward as it may seem: even Amazon don’t have anything suitable that they can deliver before next week. Eventually we managed to order some Thrive (the same product that Ocado Zoom didn’t deliver) from Zooplus and it will arrive in 1-3 working days but, in the meantime, I shall be sifting.
I have discovered that singing whilst sifting serves the dual purpose of making the task about 0.1% less boring and helping to drown out Catorze’s infernal screaming. And, interestingly, there are many songs that work well if the lyrics are adapted. My personal favourite is “Sifting the night away” (Sam Cooke), apart from the line that goes “Everybody’s feeling great”, because obviously that’s not what’s happening here: Catorze is ravenous and also infuriated at what a slow and inefficient sifter I am, and Cat Daddy and I just want him to shut up.
I hope your 2021 is going better than ours.
jesuisleroisoleil 
No words! 🙂
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I know. Thoughts and prayers alone will do! 😫
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With that cat, thoughts and prayers won’t do it. 🙂
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SO THEN WHAT DO WE DO? SCREEEEEAM! 😱😱😱
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Look for a wiccan to cast a good spell.
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They don’t work on him. We are powerless against his Dark Arts.
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Meowser dear furiend, have you considered canned mackerel, which is supposedly human food? We love that Or are you only interested in kibble?
Purrseidon
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Yup, dried food only. Our mutual friend won’t touch wet food, and CERTAINLY not anything resembling the servants’ food!
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Oh, meow, I love servant food!!!
Purrseidon
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Sa Maj will happily wrap his chops around decaying rat remains, but he draws the line at organic hot-smoked salmon. 😳
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Hmmmmm is it the heat or the fact it is servant food? I’m fond of salmon, spinach and many other servant dishes.
Purrseidon
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Not sure, but he won’t touch it. We often joke that we put our dinner on the floor and leave the room, just because we can.
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By the time the non-pickle part of your order arrives, he will not want to eat it anyway.
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Well, we’ve been very bold in assuming he would ever have wanted to! But, at the time, and given the options available to us then, we had to order SOMETHING. 😐
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I do hope you find a solution soon – before the men in white coats come…. 😉
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I hope they do come. I’d get them to help me sift. 🤣🤣🤣
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Jambon de Bayonne?
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We may have to resort to that, and he likes it as a little snack but I can’t see him eating enough to sustain him …
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Well, perhaps if you construct pleasing canapés with perfectly dry but not too dry thin but not too thin fresh baguette slices… He won’t eat the bread, of course… Oh, never mind… Lost cause.
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He won’t eat the canapés! Even with things like jambon de Bayonne, he has to be in the mood. 🙄
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You could eat him! Ours like butter and or mayonnaise if all else fails.
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Eat Catorze? He would barely even be an amuse-bouche!
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My cats are somewhat picky eaters. I always insist that if they really are hungry, they’ll eat whatever we give them. They always prove me wrong. Cats are the exception to the “beggars can’t be choosers” rule. Sigh. Sending you sympathy from afar…
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Yes, we were of that school of thought, too. They don’t do it, though, do they? Little sods. 🙄
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They really are. And yet, somehow, still adorable. It’s a superpower.
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I know! Normal human nature would compel us to hate an animal so stupid. 🤣🤣🤣
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😆
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