Category: Uncategorized
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I’ve been doing facial massage for a few months, and I know most of my exercises by heart. However, I have recently started a new set with a new practitioner, so I needed the instructional video to know what I was doing. And, regretfully, the moment that I chose to watch the video coincided with…
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I have recently taken to sleeping in the back bedroom because it’s much quieter, with less aeroplane noise, and the mattress is more supportive on my bad back. However, during the visit from Louis Catorze’s human cousins, for various reasons, we all did a massive bed switcheroo and I slept in the main front bedroom…
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What is your favourite restaurant? Louis Catorze hasn’t been eating much lately, so we really want him to start enjoying dining at home. When his post-steroid munchies failed to kick in, I wondered whether to bring back his wet food, to see if that made a difference. The little sod has always been inconsistent with…
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Louis Catorze has had a lovely week. Not only has the weather been glorious, but two of his human cousins have been staying with us. Catorze loves his cousins’ visits, especially now that one of them – YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE – has finally grown out of her phase of running after him, screaming,…
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Number of hours that Louis Catorze has spent outside since we spotted Le Rat: 9,598. Number of prey actually caught: 1. And, regretfully, it wasn’t the rat. It was a fly. That said, Catorze was super-dramatic about it, felling the hapless insect with great intent as if he were a sabre-toothed tiger taking down…
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What animals make the best/worst pets? I don’t know about the best pets, but let me tell you a little story about one of the worst. You thought the food palaver was over at Part 21, right? Yup, so did we. Cat Daddy bought some hot-smoked salmon as an Easter holiday treat and, after taking…
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What job would you do for free? We have a rat in the garden. It casually ambled past the patio doors when the Dog Family and Blue the Smoke Bengal’s mamma were round for lunch, and every single one of them saw it. Louis Catorze was nowhere to be found at the time. We believe…
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How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic? During the pandemic, we had a stupid rule here in the UK stating that any death within 28 days of contracting COVID would be officially registered as a COVID death. Yes, even if you were hit by a bus. Louis Catorze clearly…
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What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like? I am very much a morning person. My energy takes a dip in the afternoon and, by the evening, it’s not really worth trying to engage with me. (People still try, though I wish they wouldn’t.) The start of my…
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Merci à Dieu: it’s the Easter holidays. This is excellent because I don’t have to think about work for a whole two weeks, but also worrying because I’ll be spending more time with Louise Catorze, who has been absolutely unhinged lately. On the last day of term I switched off my weekday alarm, although I…
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What makes you laugh? Every so often Louis Catorze loses his voice, most likely from too much screaming. When he tries to make a sound, he barely manages to emit a breathy wheeze. And nothing is more hilarious than this. He doesn’t need medical attention, nor does this concern us in the slightest. Obviously if his…
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We have big news here at Le Château: Louis Catorze is now about 0.1% less of an arsehole when we administer his thyroid medication. We still have to employ the stealth attack method; if he knows it’s coming, it won’t work. Cat Daddy usually grabs him for one of their man-to-man chats, holding him on…
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I am very sad to have to tell you that Blue the Smoke Bengal is no longer with us. Blue was a stunningly beautiful cat, whose teddy bear appearance belied his murderous heart. No member of the local wildlife was safe from his slasher claws; he counted pigeons, blackbirds, sparrows, blue tits and squirrels among…
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Astronomical spring arrived at the end of last week, and the Spring Zing really is a thing because Louis Catorze has been absolutely insufferable. The little sod has been sleeping in a freezer bag (I KNOW) by day, then doing frenzied parkour, with vocal accompaniment, all over my bed at night. I’m starting to wonder…
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