Plus de place à l’auberge

The Yuletide season is a time for thinking of those who are less fortunate. And, in the spirit of this philanthropy, Louis Catorze has decided to offer his Château to another living creature as a warm refuge on these cold winter nights.

Despite Catorze’s best efforts to sabotage my knitting, I managed to complete one scarf of the set of two and I have now begun the second. However, I came downstairs yesterday morning to discover this:


Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs, this is snail juice. AN ACTUAL SNAIL HAS SLITHERED ON MY WOOL. And you won’t be surprised to learn who was responsible for bringing the snail into Le Château. I can’t prove that it was him, but I know it (which is starting to become a very common refrain when it comes to crimes of the Catorze kind).

Now, I realise that I should probably have put away my knitting. However, in my defence, of all the catastrophes that could befall unput-away knitting, I don’t think any reasonable person could have foreseen this. Had Catorze trashed the scarf and trailed wool all around the place and out through the Sureflap, yes, I would have taken full responsibility for not learning my lesson from the first time. But this? COME ON.

Before the “Maybe It Wasn’t Him” brigade start piping up, trust me, it was him. The little sod is very well known for having all manner of wildlife hitch a ride on his fur when he comes in from outdoors, and he really is so slow that the slowest animal on earth could slither up to him and climb aboard. The fact that the snail juice is only on the wool, with no trail leading up to it, is highly indicative of said snail having been brought in and deposited there – as opposed to coming in of its own accord – and, somehow, scooped away again. Unless snails can switch on/off their juice at will?

The lack of trails also means there are no clues whatsoever as to where the snail may now be. So it’s highly likely that we will find its gross mess elsewhere at some stage. This is not good.

Anyway, I am now having to cut off the snail-juiced parts of the wool and attach on a clean part of the ball. This isn’t great because, as most crafters know, the fewer knots that are in a piece of work, the better. And I now have even less time than I had before, to complete a task that was already on a very tight deadline. But, if my maths serve me correctly, if I manage to knit 852 rows an hour between now and the 25th, I might just about make it.

Here is our mutual friend – all charged up from having climbed into a box of tissue paper at 2am that same day and thrashed around like a shark attack victim – giving his usual number of hoots, which is none:

“Pas mon problème.”

If you fancy some more gastropod-related fun and games, please see below:

30 thoughts on “Plus de place à l’auberge

  1. Gosh – we would never have guessed a snail got into your yarn. Around here it would be a cat sneezing on it with similar effect. (Sorry for the gross image, but we figured you could handle it.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so sorry, I’ve only just seen this comment! The greater shock was when we came down one day to find snail trails all over the furniture and we discovered that ONE had made all that mess! We imagined at least 8,963!


  2. I was about to say that there’s more than meets the eye in that portrait of Catorze. But no, I think it’s a perfect representation of the little stinker. I’m not at all spiritual, but if it happens that you both end up on the other side of the rainbow bridge, I would hope that the verbal conversation is more than just automatically getting the translation, but that he also tells you his versions of what he’s done and tells you he loves you and thanks you profusely.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Pauvre Catorze! It has become concerting that perhaps the humans in this scenario are lacking in their F.F.T.T. Feline Focus Training & Therapy. Perhaps it is time for an intervention and due to this being a holiday season, there is no time to lose.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Love the photo!! It totally captures his character purrfectly! (Could you not have washed the snail juice off the wool? Or just rubbed it in so no-one would ever suspect, haha……) xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Nope it couldn’t be that sweet, sweet cat! 🙂 I think I would have brushed it off and knitted away. People pay extra for weird things on their clothes like holes. It probably made it very valuable!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Hey, at least it’s not cat barf! My best story is that a step-daughter came to visit. As always I cleaned the bedding because the cats sleep there. The next morning she was doing a load of laundry. I asked what. Someone crawled under the quilt (after I have cleaned everything) and barfed on one side of the bed so when she pulled the covers back she saw it (better than crawling into it!). Fortunately she has 2 cats so she slept on the other side of the bed until the next morning. Gotta love cats!

        Liked by 2 people

  6. Catorze: “What do you mean, that’s not quite the ‘finishing touch’ to a homemade gift that you had in mind,you ungrateful servant? I also maganimously did not charge you transportation costs for M. Escargots’ services, which he provided for free!” 😼

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Frogs! Good grief! Do they make a sound? My mum’s cats used to bring in screaming frogs, which I daren’t Google to see if she is exaggerating as I fear she’s not. 🐸


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