louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Author: iamthesunking
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Cat Daddy and I are on holiday, in our favourite hideaway in the Scottish Highlands. Louis Catorze is someone else’s problem in the care of our chat-sitting friend, and she reported massive screaming within a short time of her arrival. To be honest, since she’s chat-sat him before and, despite everything, willingly come back for…
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Is a little chaos actually good for us? Sorry … what? Did Louis Catorze tell you that? For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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What do you do to improve your sleep? Honestly? Book a two-week holiday miles away from Louis Catorze and his nonsense. In fact, that’s what we’re doing, as from today, which is fortuitous timing as his Steroid Psycho is kicking in AND we’re just coming off a full moon AND it’s Mercury Retrograde. We will…
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Yesterday, we had to return to the vet for Louis Catorze’s blood test. As you are aware, the previous one was an utter cirque de merde due to the little sod fighting off the vet staff so, two hours before this appointment, I had to give him Gabapentin to sedate him. The thought of this…
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Over the weekend we had a raging storm in the early hours of the morning, loud enough to wake me up. When I came downstairs at 5:30am, having been boiled awake (thank you, Jessica, for teaching me this brilliantly descriptive expression) by the heat, I saw that Cat Daddy hadn’t put away the outdoor cushions…
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My mum came to stay with us last week, for a few days. Her cat, Zelva, rarely meows, something which my brain cannot even begin to fathom, so it was quite a contrast for her to spend time with a cat who is the exact opposite and never shuts up. When my mum arrived, Louis…
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Louis Catorze didn’t come to be fed yesterday morning, which is highly unusual for him. I went about my usual morning routine, expectantly looking out for his up-tail sailing past and listening out for his voice, but there was no sign of him. Catorze doesn’t tend to wander far, and we have learned from experience…
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Which languages do you speak, and how does that impact your life? Louis Catorze is a highly-skilled polyglot, able to communicate with humans, dogs, foxes, squirrels and birds. However, they don’t usually want to hear what he has to say, so it impacts his life by gaining him enemies. This isn’t great. One day, I…
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Merde: we have another heatwave this week, with severe weather warnings in London today and tomorrow. This week, Cat Daddy will be spending a whole day babysitting a two- and a five-year-old. I will be teaching teenagers and taking a group of them on a theatre trip. I don’t know which of us will have…
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Cat Daddy, to Louis Catorze: “Why are you lazing around indoors when it’s such a beautiful day? Why aren’t you outside, enjoying your last summer?” Me: “What do you mean, “last summer”? You think he won’t have any more? Not even one?” Cat Daddy: “SEVENTEEN, though? Come on.” Why not? After all, we didn’t think…
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If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be and why? I’m not sure whether it’s a “skill” as such, but Louis Catorze would be master and commander of storms. He loves them so much that, as soon as he hears thunder or rainfall, he stops whatever he’s doing (which, usually, isn’t a…
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The World Cup started last week. This is great for Cat Daddy and me, because it will be wall-to-wall football for the next month or so. It’s even better for Louis Catorze, because we’ve planned a couple of watch parties and MEN will be visiting us. Cat Daddy: “We should do a sweepstake. Nothing complicated,…
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Write your guide to setting healthy boundaries in relationships. Louis Catorze has had a busy weekend, with the second of his birthday flotilla parties taking place. He wore himself out by screaming himself senseless at his guests but, luckily, they are cat people so they understood. At first, they described his screaming as “not that…
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What’s a cultural tradition from another country that you wish existed in yours? In Ancient Egypt, cats were worshipped as gods. I expect Louis Catorze wishes that the rest of the world would also OH NEVER MIND. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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