Author: iamthesunking
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The genie grants you a wish. What is it? Ten days or so ago, the only thing that I wanted was for Louis Catorze to come home. When he had to stay overnight at the vet’s, and that one night then stretched into two, we wondered if we would ever see him again. But he’s…
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1st October is my favourite day of the year, because all the Hallowe’en anticipation and build-up is still ahead of me. However, this year, with everything that’s been going on with Louis Catorze, it’s been hard to fully feel the start of the Spooky Season. My mind has been mainly on getting him through it.…
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Our first few days back under Catorzian rule have been quite strange, almost like living with another cat. I’ve even been wondering whether the vet gave us the right one back, but then I remembered that nobody in their right mind would want to keep Louis Catorze. In all the years we’ve lived with him,…
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What are your best healthy eating habits? I don’t know whether one could describe Louis Catorze’s regime as “healthy” when he eats the best food in the world yet also takes a shit-ton of drugs, but tant pis. I decided to change Catorze’s dry food a month or so before we went on holiday. Although…
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How do you write what people actually want to read? I’m pretty sure that nobody really wants to read about two hapless Londoners being held prisoner by a psychotic black cat. However, when life is turning to shit, it can be somewhat comforting, in a “There but for the grace of God” kind of way,…
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It’s autumn, a time of abundance and gratitude, and the biggest gift for which I am thankful right now is Louis Catorze being home. At least, something faintly resembling him is in my house; I can’t be sure that they’ve given us the right animal because this one is skinny, with shaved arms, a shaved…
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Louis Catorze has been very unwell. It’s been the worst few days. Our cleaning lady returned, despite the horror that she suffered at Catorze’s paws, and he greeted her with two piles of puke. This wasn’t unusual, because he is always chewing grass. Also, as you know, Catorze is the master of absolutely terrible timing, so…
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A new species of wild cat has been discovered in the forests of Bolivia. The Tigrino – or Leopardus Tilcayo, if you are ever cross with it and want to shout at it using its full name – is an entirely new species to biological science. Humans have been aware of it for a little…
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I’ve been seeing a homeopathic doctor who recommended that I drink an infusion of fennel seeds every night. I rolled my eyes at first, but I’m actually enjoying it. However, Louis Catorze seems to be enjoying it more because, as the infusion brews, he approaches the mug and nuzzles it. Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs: Catorze…
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Remember when giving Louis Catorze extra food at night made him behave himself? Yeah, well, it doesn’t work anymore. I had a feeling it wouldn’t last forever, but I hadn’t expected it to come to an end so soon. Last night Catorze was an absolute hell-beast. First, he knocked over my water bottle and, because…
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Our cleaning lady has left the UK permanently (and, no, it wasn’t Louis Catorze’s fault, although it would be understandable for you to blame him after that other fateful incident involving her predecessor) so we had a new one start on Thursday. I was at work so Cat Daddy was left to show her around…
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Louis Catorze’s morning dose of thyroid medication is relatively easy. Well, the Maths isn’t, but the application is, since 0.07ml isn’t drastically different from 0.06ml. However, his evening dose is rather more difficult, because 0.11ml is hugely different from 0.06ml. In fact, it’s a surprisingly enormous amount. And, whereas 0.06ml could be blobbed onto his…
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If your pet could talk, what is the first thing he would say? Oh, come on. As if he’d bother speaking to me. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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At the risk of sounding like a world-weary elder from a remote forest tribe, what a relief it was when the rains came. I was starting to think it would never rain again. Obviously I couldn’t be more delighted that our poor, parched plants and trees have been watered, and that our filthy streets had…
