Author: iamthesunking
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Because Louis Catorze is a grazer rather than a scoffer, and wet food doesn’t lend itself brilliantly to being left for ages, we have had to start covering his bowl with a saucer every time he leaves it. This sometimes means that, when he comes back to his bowl, it’s covered up and nobody is…
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Cat Daddy and I took Louis Catorze back to the vet on Friday, for his follow-up. The appointment was with Tom, whom we think is Catorze’s favourite vet because he doesn’t scream that much when Tom is handling him, and he’s only tried to kick him once. Sadly Catorze will never be cured of his…
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What’s a small moment from your past that you still think about years later? This, from 2016: In true Catorzian style, despite the happiness of yesterday it seems we have crashed to an all-time low here at Le Château: at around 1am, Louis Catorze decided to bring in a live slug and deposit it on…
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How do you define success in life? Since now feels like a good time to avoid anything over-ambitious, my definition of success is getting Louis Catorze to eat his pills first time. We knew that, after such a diagnosis, Catorze would require additional medication going forward. But we hadn’t quite counted on him needing this…
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You know when cats are screaming and screaming, and humans say, “Yes, I know”? Well, I didn’t know before. However, after yesterday morning, I knew. Louis Catorze had to be on nil by mouth as he was due for his X-ray and scan. And, dear God, it was horrendous. He hasn’t been screaming all that…
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If you had a free round-trip ticket to anywhere, where would you go? If the ticket covered treatment and not just travel, I’d probably get excellent value from an all-expenses-paid trip to the vet. Our credit card is sitting in a foetal position and crying at the prospect of what’s about to happen. First, a…
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Towards the end of September, I bought myself a set of glass pumpkin lights. (They actually ended up being a bit shit and the seller refunded me, but that’s another story.) Me, to Cat Daddy, as I was unpacking them from their box: “Don’t throw this box away, will you?” Him: “What do you want…
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Oh. Mon. Dieu. Blue the Smoke Bengal’s mamma has given me some French cat ice cubes: I imagine they’re meant for making drinks for us but I will, of course, mostly be using them for Louis Catorze’s ice cube massages when summer comes around again. However, thinking ahead to Hallowe’en and wondering how I can…
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Last summer I started reading “I Know What I Saw”, a book about modern-day cryptid sightings, and I didn’t quite get around to finishing it. The approach of Hallowe’en made me pick it up again to resume reading, I realised that the next chapter was about creepy cats. Imagine that. It seems to be that most…
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Do you set personal goals for yourself? I was about to say that Louis Catorze’s one personal goal is to do what he wants, irrespective of any upset or offence caused to others. However, goal-setting is what people do to better themselves, and Catorze already thinks he is perfect as he is. So it’s a…
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One of Louis Catorze’s favourite things to do is step on the TV remote and either change channels or switch the TV to the home screen. He has probably done this about 784 times in the time that we’ve known him, so it’s certainly nothing unusual. If we are doing something he doesn’t like, or…
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We have just discovered that we can see Louis Catorze’s heartbeat through his bald, shaved chest. Naturellement, the first time we noticed it, we had perfect lighting and a perfect angle, and it was very clear, but we didn’t have our phones handy. We have tried to recreate those same conditions about 962 times and…
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I am not impressed with Louis Catorze. Yesterday morning I was an hour and three-quarters late with his breakfast*, and the little shit absolutely destroyed my forearm with his digging and scratching. Yes, this is the same cat who is ambivalent about food. For goodness’ sake. *In my defence it was my birthday the day…
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In the dining room sits a box of canned cat food, all of which Louis Catorze has rejected over time. For ages I’ve been meaning to pass it onto a more grateful cat but, a few days ago, Cat Daddy accidentally gave one to Catorze, thinking it were his current supply, and the little sod…
