Author: iamthesunking
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If you could erase one event from history, what would it be? This one from 2017: A couple of days ago, Oscar the dog’s mamma told me that she had seen a large brown rat in their garden. Ever-hopeful, I asked her if she were sure that it wasn’t a very big mouse, or an…
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What’s a conspiracy theory you actually find believable? The Uprising is nigh. Black cats are masterminding it, with the aid of their ginger footsoldiers. But every single cat on the planet – yes, even yours – is either an active conspirator or, at the very least, a sympathiser. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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Another week, another heatwave. This one was the fourth this year (or maybe the fifth, I can’t remember) and, once again, the hottest place in the UK on the hottest day of the week was Kew Gardens, 0.6 miles from us, at 38.1°C. On Friday we received a government emergency alert on our phones, the…
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The cold water tap in our kitchen is leaking. It varies from a light but steady flow to a drip per ten seconds, but it never fully stops. Cat Daddy was all for just ignoring it until I showed him exactly how much water was being wasted: a washing-up bowl placed under the tap at…
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Cat Daddy’s recovery has been a mixed bag so far. Physically, everything is healing as it should. However, I fear that Le Château is not a suitable environment for someone recovering from surgery, and this is mostly Louis Catorze’s fault. His actions, so far, have included the following: Poor Cat Daddy, having been desperate to…
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Just before his knee surgery, Cat Daddy had another Zoom call. He messaged me asking if I could be prison officer again, but unfortunately I didn’t see the message until just AFTER I had turned Louis Catorze loose in the house. So he had to recapture the inmate and haul him back to the cell…
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Share a photo of your pet and tell us one thing that makes them uniquely them. Years ago, when we adopted our first black cat, we would wonder how to tell ours apart from others. Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs: we were part of the brigade who thought that all black cats looked the same. If…
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After a number of consultations, Cat Daddy has finally had the first of two knee operations. He came home yesterday and, as he hobbled up the front path with his crutches, Louis Catorze sat on the bottom step and screamed and screamed. Cat Daddy says he wishes he were still at the hospital. It’s not…
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Cat Daddy had another Zoom call the other day, which meant that I was on prison officer duty minding Louis Catorze in a locked cell. Just before the call started, Cat Daddy told me that he had already contained the inmate, so all I had to do was go into the front room and join…
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Remember when Louis Catorze liked wet food, then he didn’t, then he did, then he didn’t? Well, now he does again. The little sod had been looking a bit haggard and brittle, so we decided to see if he would eat the wet food left over from his last sojourn. We were pretty sure he…
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If you had to give one life-changing tip, what would it be? If you have a cat, don’t bother trying to have professional Zoom meetings in your house. Seriously, just go to someone else’s house to do them. Or hot-desk somewhere. Or sit in your car. Anywhere but your house. Remember when Louis Catorze used…
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Louis Catorze doesn’t like it when people sneeze. His reaction is more annoyance than fear: he emits an audible scowl, then runs away making bird-chatter sounds. Yes, we know that this is weird. Cat Daddy’s sneezes are so ear-bleeding loud that they make his guitar sing (or maybe gently weep, I don’t know). This is…
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What’s your home decoration style? Cat hairs and despair, mostly. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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Whilst holidaying in the Scottish Highlands, I learned of the passing of Doug Thomas, a fellow cat blogger. Although I knew that Doug hadn’t been well, with frequent trips to hospital, this news really knocked me off my feet and I’m still not sure how to process it. Doug’s was one of the very first…
louiscatorze.com 