Unplug what? My internet router? Well, this incident brought me pretty close:
On Saturday I received a yellow card from the Facebook Gestapo for a comment that contravened The Rules by “inciting violence”. They were referring to my statement that Louis Catorze needed, and I quote: “a kick up the arse”.
Cat Daddy: “Oh dear. You’re worse than Kurt Zouma.”
You know when unjustly-accused suspects tell the police, “While you’re wasting time on me, the real perpetrator is still out there”? Yes, that. Exactly that. I once reported some random Instagram user for writing “Send him back to Africa” on a black (English) footballer’s page, only to be told that the comment did NOT break the rules. In fact, that day, I reported countless comments expressing similar sentiments, and was repeatedly told exactly the same thing. Yet here they are, coming after ME for stating – on a closed forum, with no impressionable kiddos present – that my cat needed a kick up the arse.
Might I add, too, that Catorze absolutely DOES need a kick up the arse. Everyone knows this. Even people on the other side of the world who have never met him, know this.
So now it seems I’m not allowed to state facts about this coercively-controlling furry psychopath who rules our house, leaches our money and hastens our march to the grave. And it wouldn’t surprise me to discover that he had something to do with all this.