You know how annoying it is when you’re messaging someone and Autocorrect changes it to “ducking”? Come on. Anyone who claims not to know this is a liar (or doesn’t have a phone).
Cat Daddy has discovered a new dimension to this problem.
Louis Catorze recently decided to curl up on a mattress cover which had just been washed and which was drying outside. Cat Daddy photographed him and sent me the picture, declaring that Catorze was a “total count”.

So … which count is he?
Here are some options, as suggested by friends:
1. Count von Count from Sesame Street. He’s goth, toothy and cute, but is he a bit TOO cute to be a role model for Catorze?

Picture, very appropriately, from muppet.fandom.com.
2. Vicomte Sébastien de Valmont from Dangerous Liaisons (if, indeed, a viscount can still count as a count?). Like Catorze, he’s French. However, he seduces women for fun. And ladies aren’t really Catorze’s thing, if you get what I mean.

Picture from vulture.com.
3. Edmond Dantès, aka The Count of Monte Cristo. He’s French, vengeful and a skilled escape artist, and he suddenly finds himself with untold riches, all of which make him startlingly similar to Catorze. This could be the one.

Picture from thetimes.co.uk.
4. Count Dracula, the papa of them all. An evil, shapeshifting bloodsucker who sleeps all day and goes on psychotic rampages at night. Bingo. I think we have our answer.

Picture from lwiles.com.
Maybe he should never have been Sa Majesté Louis Catorze, Le Roi Soleil. Maybe he should always have been Count Dracula. But, as we Brits are aware, once the monarchy are in place, deposing them isn’t as easy as all that.
Which member of the aristocracy most resembles your cat? And are there any counts that we have neglected to, erm, count? Please let us know.
None of our kitties seem to fitthe idea of any of the counts, though Oscar (RIP in 2020) was quite a bit like Oscar theGrouch, to stick to the Muppet theme,
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Oscar who lived in a bin? 🤣🤣🤣
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Deposing popular monarchs is bad form. And besides Xenia (H.I.M.) would be forced to withdraw diplomatic privileges, impose sanctions and issue the dreaded imperial HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
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Not the imperial hiss! Oh my! We feel your fear; we live under a monarchy-dictatorship combo here at Le Château, and we’re far too scared to revolt. We need some tips from someone French. Know anyone?
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I always thought of him more like a Prince Harry. I mean a hairy prince. 🙂
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Hahaha! What about your gang? Who is the royalest of them all? I see Chris as Henry VIII, somehow.
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That is a perfect comparison. Frankie would mean napoleon. Always looking to conquer new lands. Floki would be Nero. Napping while Rome burned.
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… which count is he? Dunno, but he likes to lead a luxurious and comfortable life for sure! Just buy a new mattress cover and give this one to Louis…
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You know perfectly well that he’ll take the new one and avoid this one! 🤣🤣🤣
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Hahaha… yes, you’re probably right! Cats, mysterious creatures…
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Hilarious! A great read on waking this morning!
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Thank you! I now can’t listen to Bela Lugosi’s Dead without laughing at that line “Alone in a darkened room … the count …” 🤣🤣🤣
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My cat is Princess Penny de Poupoune Chérie 🙂
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Hahaha! I had no idea! 🤣🤣🤣
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Our cat is named Timon de Beauffaux because he was born at the educational farm « la ferme de Beauffaux ». There, he spent some weeks with the rabbits.
https://www.lafermedebeauffaux.com/lapin
We never call him count Peter Rabbit but we could.
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That is a magnificent name!
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I don’t think that Louis would consent to a demotion from royalty to mere nobility. 🙂
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I don’t think so, either. I think we’d be for the guillotine if so. 🗡
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Love it!! The only one of our who would warrant a royal moniker would be her Royal Highness (or Her Ladyship) Marigold. The others would be more like the urchins in Oliver Twist…
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So the others aren’t as fancy as Marigold? 🤣🤣🤣
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