louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Category: Uncategorized
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As you are aware, the snout-swelling that Louis Catorze experienced after his dental surgery concealed his famous fangs. The swelling has now receded but I still don’t see the fangs returning to their former glory. I recently overheard Cat Daddy saying to Catorze, “Your fangs are coming back, aren’t they, Louis-boy?” to which he replied…
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Most pet owners will admit that they look after their animals better than they look after themselves, and I am no exception. When I visited the doctor recently about my recurrent headaches*, the consultation went something like this: Doctor: “For how long have you been getting these headaches?” Me: “I don’t know.” Her: “How often…
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Louis Catorze’s skin problem is returning. The fur around his eyes is thinning, and this is the familiar, telltale sign that all could turn to merde if we aren’t careful. In fact, it could very well turn to merde even if we ARE careful. Since we don’t know what causes it, we are still at…
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Cat Daddy and I have just returned from a weekend away watching Brentford play Norwich. Louis Catorze was left in the care of a chat-sitting friend and, apart from The Curious Incident of the Bubble Wrap in the Night-Time and a LOT of creepy-staring and screaming, he was the perfect host. In somewhat related news…
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In my last post I mentioned how easy it was to give Louis Catorze his Loxicom, since I just blobbed it onto his fur and he happily groomed it off. So, naturellement, as soon as that went live, he had to stuff it up. This was the tragic sequence of events that took place the…
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Louis Catorze’s follow-up with his royal physician went well. When I stuffed him into his transportation pod, naturellement there was the usual unearthly screaming. Yet, on the walk over to the practice, he was eerily silent. This is most unlike him. The only moment that he let out a little squeak was when we passed…
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I am the worst person in the world. On Saturday, when giving Louis Catorze his Loxicom, it dawned on me that I hadn’t been turning the bottle upside-down to draw the liquid into the syringe. In short, the poor little sod hadn’t had any pain relief since the day after his surgery, and I had…
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We have been thinking about a suitable punishment for Kurt Zouma for what he did to his cat. Ordinarily, for situations such as animal cruelty, I would be of the medieval “sharp instruments meeting with tender body parts” school of retribution but, since I’m a teacher, I’m not really allowed to say things like that.…
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Louis Catorze’s second, and hopefully last, dental surgery went well. He is now minus two more teeth: his last remaining lower canine and the small incisor next to it. And we are minus £435. The timing has turned out to be less than optimal, to say the least. We are barely out of the monetary…
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We have survived Storm Eunice and Storm Franklin and emerged on the other side, triumphant and victorious. Our only casualty was part of the fence separating us from That Neighbour, which means Louis Catorze will now find it easier than ever to pitter-patter over there and annoy him. Meanwhile, Catorze’s food weirdness remains as it…
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Cat Daddy and I are back from Iceland, and we were lucky enough to land just before Storm Eunice hit. If you have never been to Iceland, I highly recommend it; it’s the most exquisite, enchanting place. I have learned that a single ten-minute mud mask at the Blue Lagoon can miraculously erase several days…
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Cat Daddy and I are still in Iceland. News from Le Château is that Louis Catorze has latched onto the gentleman of the chat-sitting couple and won’t let him get on with his work. This will not surprise anyone. It seems that the universe has rewarded me for putting principles over points because, last week,…
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Cat Daddy and I are in Iceland at the moment, so we spent the last couple of days preparing for the arrival of Louis Catorze’s chat-sitteurs. We systematically have to remind all visitors that Catorze has a naughty habit of entering bedrooms and raising merry hell as people sleep, and this occasion was no exception.…
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Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs, the answer to Wednesday’s French Wordle was this: I know. I didn’t think proper nouns were allowed but, after some research, I have discovered that a louis is a type of sovereign coin. So I have learned something new. I have to give a special mention to my friend Ben for…
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