louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
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about
Month: Apr 2023
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You could never know what I’m likeI might look cute but I’m the Antichrist And I’ve a loud and piercing scream that sounds like hellYou’ll wind up bleeding from your ears and from your brain as wellAnd do you really think you’ll ever winWell, look at me, chasing after men againI give you lots of…
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Merde, merde and thrice merde: it seems as if the mischievous fae folk of Beltane have already started working their naughty magic on Louis Catorze. Or maybe he is the one who controls them? That seems much more likely, doesn’t it? I have just caught the horrid little sod nuzzling my signed – SIGNED –…
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Cat Daddy and I are back from his sister’s birthday extravaganza. During our absence, our chat-sitteurs sent us this photo of Louis Catorze cavorting around on their bed. Yes, they were in the bed at the time. No, Catorze didn’t care: In other news, it’s that time again: the snail harvest is just beginning and…
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Cat Daddy and I are away for the weekend, at his sister’s birthday celebration. Although it was tempting to just leave Louis Catorze to go feral and see how much time it would take him to move in with Family Next Door (who would probably love him as their pet) or That Neighbour (who wouldn’t),…
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Since my school friends and I are all turning A Certain Age these days, I’ve been in a busy routine of meeting them for dinner or going to their birthday parties. My meet-up with my best friend from sixth form, with whom I have had a couple of joint parties as our birthdays are close…
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When Cat Daddy and I met Shadow the black Labrador, her humans told us that she was an expert at seeking out people who had food and giving them the Full Hepburn, playing the convincing part of a starving dog. Her Dog Grandpa repeatedly vows not to fall for her act, yet always gives in.…
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Into every Cat Mamma’s life a little rain must fall. However, sometimes it’s not a little rain; it’s a lot. A full-on hurricane, in fact. With a hefty dose of pollution thrown in. Oh my, this was a bad one. When Louis Catorze came indoors a couple of mornings ago and settled on my lap,…
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What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like? Louis Catorze is the first person that I see every morning. He is like one of those Lumie alarm clocks with different pre-recorded sounds, most of which are pretty jarring and awful. But I love waking up to this one:…
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If you could have something named after you, what would it be? A cocktail would be very cool, non? It’s Louis Catorze’s thirteenth birthday at the end of this month and, in preparation for this, I have been toiling away* to create a birthday cocktail worthy of a Sun King. (A cocktail for the humans…
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On Good Friday, Cat Daddy and I strayed onto the Dark Side and met up with a DOG. (With the Dog Parents present, obviously. We wouldn’t have the slightest clue what to do with a dog by ourselves.) This is Shadow, who belongs to one of my old school friends: Despite being a member of…
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Louis Catorze’s tattoo sleeves have fully grown back. So now he looks more like a normal cat, and less like a [insert name of cryptozoological beast undiscovered by science]. However, his evil eye – the mysterious bald patch on his left shoulder – is taking some time to grow back, and its cause remains a…
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When Louis Catorze goes on the rampage in the neighbourhood, and we’ve been forced to wheel out the “It must have been some other black cat” excuse, we haven’t actually had a specific one in mind. What we say isn’t exactly a lie as such, nor is it quite the same as directly BLAMING another…
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What’s something most people don’t understand?
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As it’s now properly spring AND the Easter holidays have started, I have just had a good old clear-out of Louis Catorze’s cupboard. It’s supposed to be bad form to enter the new season still weighed down by needless tat that isn’t serving a purpose – and, knowing Cat Daddy, when he reads this post,…
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