louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
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One night, at around 3am, I went to the kitchen for a drink of water. I often do this in complete darkness but, for reasons that I cannot fathom, on this occasion I switched on the light. And what a good thing I did, too, because I saw a spider cascading down on its string…
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Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently? Cat Daddy and I have started having guitar lessons, and we are utterly useless; after just one lesson our backs hurt, our fingers were bloodied, and we can’t imagine how we will possibly learn any actual songs…
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The king’s coronation takes place today and, if you actually give a shite, you’ll know about this already. If, like us, you don’t, you’ll probably still know about it because the whole world has been hearing about little else for the last few weeks. That said, it wasn’t us who carried out this act of…
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Now that Louis Catorze is officially a teenager, he is doing what teenagers do and spending most of his time out. I barely see him these days; although he’s beside me when I wake up, as soon as he’s had his breakfast he’s off out again. Nobody knows where he goes or what he does…
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What topics do you like to discuss? Feline bad behaviour is what I do. Jackson Galaxy (who, despite the elaborate name, is actually a cat behaviour expert and not a cult leader) would be able to make several feature-length films from the material that Louis Catorze generates. One of my favourite blogs, the brilliant Bad…
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Thank you for all your birthday wishes for Louis Catorze. We could not have asked for more to celebrate the auspicious occasion of his thirteen years. Cards, gifts, visitors, jambon de Bayonne, Crémant and cherry gin cocktails (now named Screaming Roi, thanks to the landslide result of a vote among my cat freak friends), the…
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You could never know what I’m likeI might look cute but I’m the Antichrist And I’ve a loud and piercing scream that sounds like hellYou’ll wind up bleeding from your ears and from your brain as wellAnd do you really think you’ll ever winWell, look at me, chasing after men againI give you lots of…
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Merde, merde and thrice merde: it seems as if the mischievous fae folk of Beltane have already started working their naughty magic on Louis Catorze. Or maybe he is the one who controls them? That seems much more likely, doesn’t it? I have just caught the horrid little sod nuzzling my signed – SIGNED –…
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Cat Daddy and I are back from his sister’s birthday extravaganza. During our absence, our chat-sitteurs sent us this photo of Louis Catorze cavorting around on their bed. Yes, they were in the bed at the time. No, Catorze didn’t care: In other news, it’s that time again: the snail harvest is just beginning and…
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Cat Daddy and I are away for the weekend, at his sister’s birthday celebration. Although it was tempting to just leave Louis Catorze to go feral and see how much time it would take him to move in with Family Next Door (who would probably love him as their pet) or That Neighbour (who wouldn’t),…
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Since my school friends and I are all turning A Certain Age these days, I’ve been in a busy routine of meeting them for dinner or going to their birthday parties. My meet-up with my best friend from sixth form, with whom I have had a couple of joint parties as our birthdays are close…
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When Cat Daddy and I met Shadow the black Labrador, her humans told us that she was an expert at seeking out people who had food and giving them the Full Hepburn, playing the convincing part of a starving dog. Her Dog Grandpa repeatedly vows not to fall for her act, yet always gives in.…
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Into every Cat Mamma’s life a little rain must fall. However, sometimes it’s not a little rain; it’s a lot. A full-on hurricane, in fact. With a hefty dose of pollution thrown in. Oh my, this was a bad one. When Louis Catorze came indoors a couple of mornings ago and settled on my lap,…
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What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like? Louis Catorze is the first person that I see every morning. He is like one of those Lumie alarm clocks with different pre-recorded sounds, most of which are pretty jarring and awful. But I love waking up to this one:…
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