louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Author: iamthesunking
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Louis Catorze remains relentlessly and unnervingly punctual when it comes to his Front Curfew (10pm on weekdays and 10:30pm on weekends). He has never been late, not once, not even by a minute. It’s actually getting creepy now. On Tuesday night, when we were a little later than usual after watching Brentford play Fulham in…
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After Louis Catorze’s biopsy confirmed that his skin problems are due to an external allergen, I decided that beeswax candles should become a permanent fixture here at Le Château. Have a look at this link if you fancy finding out more about their air-purifying qualities: https://candles.lovetoknow.com/Beeswax_Candle_Health_Benefits We usually get our beeswax candles from Cocoa the…
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It’s a full moon today. The next one will be on 2nd September, and the following month we will have not one but TWO full moons, with the first taking place on 1st October and the second on the 31st. A full moon on Hallowe’en is a rare thing, only occurring once every 19 years…
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Yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far, with Heathrow (6 miles away) hitting 37.8 degrees. Louis Catorze dealt with this by, erm, escaping out to the south-facing, waterless Front when Cat Daddy returned from the food bank. When I retrieved him two hours later, he had leaves stuck to his fur and…
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Before we open the living room window in the evening, we always go through the following ritual with Catorze: Me: “You know you have to be back by 10pm, don’t you?” Catorze: “Mwah!” Me: “10pm. Is that clear? Meow once for yes, twice for no.” Catorze: “Mwah!” Cat Daddy, without looking up from the television:…
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Louis Catorze went AWOL the other day and, after a thorough search of Le Château, he was eventually found in a box of toilet rolls in the attic. Cat Daddy: “Was it the box with just a couple of rolls left? Or the one with loads of rolls?” YES, THE NUMBER OF ROLLS IS THE…
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This week I left the front door open by accident after putting out some recycling. Louis Catorze, without so much as a blink, seized the opportunity to escape out at The Front – YES, AGAIN – and, when Cat Daddy went to shut the door, he found the little sod screaming at a random passer-by…
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Someone had a massive telling-off from his daddy this week, after disappearing out at The Front and being gone all night. To make matters worse, Cat Daddy had planned a big bike ride for the next morning and, of course, a poor night’s sleep stressing about an idiot cat isn’t exactly the best preparation for…
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Yesterday was the sixth anniversary of when Louis Catorze came to live with us. Or, as Cat Daddy puts it, “Six years of him and his stupid shite” (and he may have a point but I don’t imagine they’ll be putting that on the front of greeting cards anytime soon). And, to mark this auspicious…
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Merci à Dieu et à tous ses anges: our cleaning lady is back. And I am more relieved than I ever thought possible because, although I like it when places and things are clean, I hate cleaning. Nevertheless Cat Daddy and I had been getting used to our routine of putting on some cleaning music*…
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A few nights ago, Louis Catorze escaped out at The Front. Again. He isn’t allowed to be there unsupervised, as you know, but, if we are sitting in the front room and can keep an eye on him through the open window, it’s not so bad. He happily sits on the wall outside, watching the…
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I have started asking Cat Daddy to write down all the drunken topics of conversation that arise during the Zoom calls with his pub mates. This is mainly so that I don’t have to bother listening and trying to keep up. Cat Daddy: “Why do I have to do this? You’re only going to blog…
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A few days ago my friend Laura, whom I hadn’t seen since before lockdown and who also has a French cat, came by for a doorstep chat. Louis Catorze was asleep in his box when she arrived (yes, the one labelled “Cats are not permitted to sit inside this box”) but he came out to…
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Cat Daddy and I recently started ordering our fruit and vegetables from Oddbox, who rescue surplus produce: https://www.oddbox.co.uk It’s not necessarily local, organic produce, nor can you choose the contents – apart from the weekly specials which you can chuck in as add-ons – but we don’t really care about any of that. We rather…
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