Les monstres qui rôdent autour de nous

Louis Catorze’s party month is always busy, but this October has been rammed full of things to do and people to see. Four of those people were Family Next Door, who still have Catorze’s picture hovering creepily on their knife block and haven’t (yet) reported strange noises at night and objects being moved.

Quieter than the real thing.

Daughter Next Door proudly showed me a magic 8 ball that she had received for her birthday, and urged me to ask it any question requiring a yes/no answer. So I said, “Is Louis the creepiest cat in the world?” And the ball malfunctioned. MALFUNCTIONED.

The message was just random white streaks on a background of darkness.

Daughter Next Door: “Oh. I’ve never seen it do this before.”

Neither of us knew quite what to say, but I am now more certain than ever that I won’t be trying out my new divination pendulum on Catorze, despite the giver daring me to do so. That thing will end up spinning like a rogue planchette during a séance with Satan.

Because of everything that we’ve had going on, and because our pumpkins are too heavy to lift, AND because of Louis Catorze’s unbelievably annoying habit of refusing to pose for my photos, somehow I just haven’t made much progress with his Official Hallowe’en Portrait.

Naturellement, when friends take pictures of him, he morphs into Compliant Supermodel Cat. When my friend Emily visited for our annual October spookathon weekend, she was able to capture this:

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam …

Although I love the classic cuteness of this photo, no way is he this sweet and obliging in real life. A picture may well paint a thousand words but, in this case, they’re all lies.

Then, with a few days to go until the big night, Cat Daddy managed to produce this:

Don’t ever invite a vampire into your house. It renders you powerless.

Ah yes. This is a far more accurate depiction. It’s like a deleted scene from Salem’s Lot which didn’t make the final cut on account of Stephen King finding it too scary, and it truly shows Catorze for the demonic hell-beast that he is.

So, Mesdames and Messieurs, take your pick. Are you like Emily, kidding yourself that Catorze is an adorable little Hallowe’en kitty (not that I can blame her because he always behaves for her)? Or are you living in the real world?

Whilst I leave you mulling over that tricky decision, may I wish you all a Joyeuse Fête.

Hallowe’en Boys’ Club.

14 thoughts on “Les monstres qui rôdent autour de nous

    1. Joyeuse Halloween à vous tous aussi! I am both excited and terrified to see what the little sod has in store for us today. 😬

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  1. Is it me or does Louis have the longest tail for his body size? in the last picture his tail looks so fluffed up too, I love all pictures because they display a broad range of character and he certainly has many sides to him, the worse geing saved for your eyes and ears only!! Hooray for me, they can take down all the scary things off the front doors around me and they can put away their witches hats and broomsticks they invited me into a tea party yesterday afternoon and scared the life out of me with their make-up etc, who thinks very very old people don’t know how to have fun… At my expense?? Hope you had a blast!… Oh and P. S. I took Merlot out at 6pm last night, got round the corner to see all the children and parents out in costume and I opted to walk in the pitch dark woods rather than be confronted by any of them!!

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    1. Was Merlot scared of the marauding kids? Sa Maj spent much of his Hallowe’en outside on ICB, although he did briefly come in to creepy-stare at the kids from the top of the stairs.

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      1. Hahaha no, Merlot loves kids and babies, I WAS AFRAID of the kids, if I’d come face to face with them I would have probably screamed my head off, I’m so phobic of anything scary! Last year a tesco manager was putting up Halloween decorations when I walked through and he let his arm drop so that the string of decorations came down in front of me and I froze, then freaked out and ran, I then bumped into him several times up and down the aisles, he thought I was pretending 😂

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