louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Author: iamthesunking
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Louis Catorze does not like sitting on bare skin. He favours fluffy blankets or denim, merci for asking. He is also not a fan of, erm, the fan. It’s not the noise, but the breeze; he seems to find it quite annoying and moves away, flicking his ears and muttering obscenities under his breath, when…
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Cat Daddy really should know better. 10:00pm: He complains that Louis Catorze hasn’t caught any rodents or birds all year, and claims that cats who hunt are more manly than those who don’t (?). 4.39am the next day: The little sod screams repeatedly in my face (note: not in Cat Daddy’s face but in MINE)…
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We have starting using Louis Catorze’s beauty oil 2,0 – called Coatex – and it seems to smell very slightly less pungent than the Nutramega, so hopefully this means it will make him smell less pungent, too. This time the oil inside the capsules is a runny liquid, so I have to be very careful…
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According to the creepy old magpie rhyme, seven indicates “a secret never to be told”. In this case, it’s not much of a secret: Louis Catorze is on the other side of the fence, winding them up, and they’re all cackling at him. If you zoom in, you can even see the bottom right one…
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In June we discovered that Louis Catorze was at his lowest weight ever, and we had no idea why since he was eating and drinking fine and his test results were normal. His royal physician instructed us to, erm, feed him unlimited amounts of the most expensive food on the planet and bring him back…
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It’s no secret that cats somehow know when we are about to take them to the vet and, if they are outdoor cats, they disappear on the morning of the appointment. Even Louis Catorze knows that all he has to do is slip through the hole in the fence separating the Zone Occupée from the…
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Today is Cat Daddy’s birthday, and it’s his last one as the oldest of the household. Because twelve cat years are equivalent to sixty-four human years, next year Louis Catorze is set to take over as Le Doyen du Château, which is both strange and incredibly funny. Cat Daddy is the man who has everything…
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I have settled into a rather pleasant summer holiday routine, as follows: 1. Wake up when I want. 2. Bid good morning to Louis Catorze who, more often than not, is lying at my feet. 3. Make a pot of green tea. 4. Fashion a Trojan Horse amuse-bouche consisting of tuna rillettes surrounding a steroid…
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It’s a Hallowe’en miracle! (Yes, I know that it’s July, and only JUST July, at that. But it’s never too early to dream of Hallowe’en.) Just as I thought that our one and only pumpkin plant had been suffocated by Cat Daddy’s murderous potato plants, it turns out that IT LIVES. You can just about…
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Regretfully, this year my usual arsenal of weapons doesn’t seem to have made much of a dent in my hay fever, despite me preparing myself early. The start of the season was delayed, but I feel that it was the same for everyone. And it is now in full swing. If you suffer from hay…
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I had my second vaccine a couple of days ago and have been hovering between life and death ever since. (Cat Daddy’s Helpful Comment of the Day: “Just think positive.”) Although the unpleasantness is less severe than that of my first vaccine, it is certainly longer-lasting. Louis Catorze’s response has been to mostly ignore me…
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My school holidays are here. (Yes, U.K. teachers, I break up much earlier than the rest of you.) My holiday time so far has consisted of the following: 1. Writing a list of the books I want to read this summer. 2. Writing a list of the cocktails I want to make, and spending inordinate…
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Louis Catorze is strutting around Le Château with some swagger. He’s alert, happy and in fine voice. (Non-Brits, “in fine voice” is just an expression. There is nothing fine about his voice.) He also appears to be gaining weight. And so he should, given that we are feeding him unlimited quantities of a food that…
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If you have been following Le Blog for a while you will be aware that, if Cat Daddy sits down next to us, Louis Catorze climbs off my lap and onto his. Usually he does this in under ten seconds (and Cat Daddy has timed him). Yesterday I’d had him on my lap for a…
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