louiscatorze.com

Je crie, donc je suis

Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?

Playtime for Louis Catorze is any moment that humans want him to sit down and shut up.

If you followed Le Blog through lockdown, you will know how much Catorze loves to disrupt video calls. Lessons with students, staff meetings, the recording of a podcast with the Ultimate Boss of the whole education group, all ruined. Not even Cat Daddy has escaped unscathed; being the favourite human doesn’t prevent him from also having his online meetings destroyed

A couple of days before Christmas, I attended an NHS webinar with some GPs and patients from our local area. In the nicest possible way, this was never going to be the most exciting social event of the year. Perhaps that was why Louis Catorze decided to do what he did – after all, nothing livens up a dreary call quite like repeated torrents of ear-bleeding feline screaming, non? 

I found out the hard way that this meant turn the robot to face 5 o’clock (where the fingers are pointing) not 9 o’clock (to face the hand). For God’s sake, Microsoft Teams. 

The meeting started at 19:00 and, upon hearing the irresistible, come-hither sound of male doctors talking about patient waiting lists, Catorze appeared at 19:01. He screamed himself senseless for a few minutes, headbutting my phone, bug-eyed and manic, but he seemed to give up when he failed to detect me being mortally embarrassed, trying to shush him, and so on. 

The gods must have been on my side on that fateful night, because the organisers of the meeting had disabled all our microphones and cameras. So the only way of communicating would have been to type a message onto the chat; Catorzian evil may be powerful, but it’s not THAT powerful. 

When he realised that the potential to humiliate me was zero, the little sod tired of being a shite and settled down on my lap, listening happily to the talk of online booking systems and pharmaceutical services. Then he went to sleep. 

My life must be pretty pathetic for me to feel such joy at getting one over on a cat. Yet here we are. 

Maman: 1. Catorze: 0.

For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com

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22 responses to “Docteur, docteur, donne-moi des nouvelles”

  1. curating happy avatar

    Cats always beat the house here. My orange and white girl, Honey, loved nothing more than to present herself to the camera during any and all lockdown Teams meetings, butt really loved the Monday morning company-wide meetings. Note I typed ‘butt’ instead of ‘but’ – this was intentional. I think everyone I worked with during this time could describe that end of her.

    For funsies, she also denied a stationery order I was reviewing for one of our clinics, and I had to reach out to our print provider to have it fixed. This was five minutes before end of day on a Friday, of course. I think she had her sights set on a management position.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      “She denied a stationery order”! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I have no idea what this means but it sounds hilarious. “DENIED”.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. curating happy avatar

        That’s exactly what it was like. I was reviewing the order (quantity, spelling etc.) and she moved the mouse to ‘deny order’ and clicked it. It’s a good thing she’s cute.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. iamthesunking avatar

          That’s the funniest thing I have ever heard! 🤣🤣🤣

          Like

  2. cat9984 avatar

    I love being muted at big meetings. And no camera means no one seeing the cat walking back and forth between me and the camera

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      Exactly! All Catorze’s efforts were in vain!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. mcmcneil1 avatar
    mcmcneil1

    No, no, you have a perfect right to be happy that you – for once – fooled Catorze. Enjoy it while you can.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      I’ll be dining out on this for months!

      Like

  4. mmechapeau avatar
    mmechapeau

    Congratulations for that wonderful « Maman: 1. Catorze: 0. ». And what about what you were told? Was is interesting?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      It was useful information, not that sure I’d go as far as “interesting”.

      Like

  5. Ellen Hawley avatar

    He only did that so you wouldn’t go to sleep in the meeting yourself. Consider it a gift. Or a curse.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      Being able to trick him certainly was a gift!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. mmechapeau avatar
    mmechapeau

    As that information enabled you to reach an unexpected score, it was nevertheless interesting, wasn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      I suppose so! I’m sure the little sod will lay his vengeance upon me in some horrendous way.

      Like

  7. Kate Crimmins avatar

    Maybe it’s the sound of male voices that he loves!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      I think it is!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Penny Cooper avatar
    Penny Cooper

    Lol iI think he just wanted you to feel special but not for the right reasons? Literally stumped that he wasn’t annoying or disturbing you, so he wanted to pretend like it didn’t matter to him xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      Who knows what was going through his mind?

      Like

      1. Penny Cooper avatar
        Penny Cooper

        Hmmm I don’t actually think he has a mind, just states of action or resting and it just happens that whichever he chooses brings you stress! xxx

        Liked by 1 person

        1. iamthesunking avatar

          He is doing this on purpose, trust me!

          Like

  9. Aerik Arkadian avatar

    Precious kitty!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      Don’t be fooled: he is evil! 😈

      Like

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