Qui Zoom qui?

Cat Daddy has just had a Zoom call with his fellow volunteers at the food bank. It has been a while since lockdown, so we had forgotten what a pain in the arse Louis Catorze is during Zoom calls.

Unfortunately, Catorze had not forgotten.

I was having dinner in the kitchen when I received a frantic WhatsApp SOS from Cat Daddy; saying, “Can you please remove him?” I tiptoed into the front room to find Catorze kneading the blanket next to Cat Daddy, rear end pointing at the laptop, screaming, whilst Cat Daddy desperately tried to Act Normal.

I scooped up Catorze, took him away and shut the door. I then went back to my dinner and, the moment I sat down, Catorze started to scream outside the closed door, wanting to go back to his papa. (Hopefully this will answer any questions about why we don’t shut him out of our bedroom at night.)

Him: “Mwah!”

Me, from the kitchen: “Shush!”

Him: “Mwahhhh!”

Me: “Shush!”

Him: “MWAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

After a few minutes of this, I couldn’t stand it any longer. The little sod was refusing to follow me to another part – LITERALLY ANY PART – of the house, and clearly had no intention of shutting up. I didn’t know what else to do, so I scooped him up again and kicked him out at The Front so that I could eat, and Cat Daddy could talk, in peace.

I know, I know: putting a manic cat out at The Front unsupervised, during Mercury Retrograde (yes, it’s here again), is asking for trouble. But it would only be for a short while, until the end of the call. Hopefully Catorze would tire of being a nuisance and would settle down outside and watch the world go by, as he has on many occasions.

The next WhatsApp SOS messages from Cat Daddy were as follows (just the photos, no words):

Oh dear God.
OH DEAR GOD.

I opened the front door and called Catorze in, but he wasn’t having any of it. And I certainly wasn’t about to scramble around among gravel and plants trying to catch a cat who didn’t want to be caught. So I went back to my dinner.

Cat Daddy later emerged from the front room, cradling his boy in his arms. Apparently Catorze hadn’t left the window the whole time, and had screamed and screamed all the way through the call. And, somehow, it’s all my fault. Oh yes, the boys have bonded over this: Catorze is pretending to be traumatised by his experience at The Front and, like a massive sucker, Cat Daddy is falling for it.

Oh and, after the call came to an end, Catorze was happy to follow my instructions and come with me to wherever I wanted.

The next time Cat Daddy has a Zoom call, he’s on his own. In fact, I’m tempted to fling Catorze in like a grenade, lock the door and leave them to it.

25 thoughts on “Qui Zoom qui?

  1. That second picture of him at the window definitely gives a glimpse of his supernatural powers ! It is truly eerie – especially since you can;t see any of his feet !

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Terrific story and great pictures once again. I should have guessed Louis was looking through the window. As I didn’t, I burst out laughing when finding out the pictures and you made my day. Thank you anew.
    😺

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh my oh my how absolutely hilarious, I’m sorry but your description has tickled me pink because dear Louis is a lad of conviction and whatever he needed to do was obviously very important 🤣🤣🤣

    Liked by 1 person

      1. 😂😂😂 Just when you thought vacating the situation would save you, it got worse anyway and you just knew deep inside it would, I guessed he would go to the window but not quite to the literal length of his body to try getting back in to Cat Daddy and making sure he still had his full impact. The pub idea is perfect, so long as Louis doesn’t get out The Front and pitter patter his way following your scent…

        My little chihuahua Merlot managed to do that when staying home with my son in law to be in Bloxham while I drove my daughter to do some shopping in Banbury, and what’s more he managed to follow the scent of my car nearly a mile before getting caught by a man in van opposite the Co-op… (you keeping up here? Probably told you this before) so far we have man in van picking up my chihuahua – man in van having a mother who worked with dogs – mother who worked with dogs looking after man in van’s Yorkie for the weekend – mother being plagued by next-door neighbour’s visitor’s dog barking at son’s Yorkie – man in van, son, had been to collect his Yorkie while mum doing dog related work out in her van – then drove a mile up the road and grabbed Merlot into his van for Merlot’s safety getting him away from dangerous road and out of danger of possibly being stolen – ungrateful Merlot, being very much more orientated to cats and hating other dogs then having a go at son in van’s Yorkie – man calls mother asking her to check Merlot’s microchip but she wasn’t nearby at that time and she was busy working – me and my daughter get called by distraught son in law to be saying he’d somehow lost Merlot out of secure property and garden – me and my daughter feeling sick with worry but thinking son in law to be just hasn’t found where Merlot is hiding in the house, so tell him to go have another look and son in law to be says he’s already been searching for an hour (actually marrying my daughter and becoming son in law the very next day) and he still can’t find him – me and daughter go back to Bloxham, she runs down to the village centre, someone says they saw a little dog running up the path on main road near the church – I run round the house and neighbourhood yelling Merlot and yelling has anyone found a tiny black and white chihuahua to no avail – daughter checks around the church but no Merlot – husband to be go outside to see if neighbour’s animal van is there but she’s out at work – my daughter runs into the village and gets told a little dog had been grabbed by a man in a van near the Co-op – I’m now running down the road I’ve never been down before on foot but had driven that way 2 hours before with daughter, yelling out Merlot – van man goes back to his mother’s house – daughter goes back home, starts putting out messages on local Facebook groups – van man goes back to his mother’s house – mother goes back to her house – van man gives Merlot to his mother and goes home after telling of Merlot’s utter hatred for his Yorkie – daughter and son in law to be go out to the end of their drive to see if their neighbour they don’t know is there with her doggy related van is there now who could spread the story of lost little Merlot to more local people – mother wonders if Merlot is the little shit who’s been barking all weekend and takes him out to her van to check his microchip – as mother of van man goes to her van with Merlot in her arms she wonders if it’s the same dog that’s been barking all weekend at the Yorkie – next door neighbour dog lady comes out and meets my daughter and son in law to be and at last the story goes full circle and Merlot is claimed by my daughter – as I pass the little lane to the back of my daughter’s home I hear her yelling mum in the distance but I insist I must keep looking for Merlot – daughter in the distance yells “mum I’ve got Merlot” – I run all the way uphill, up the not as little as it seems in the car, lane and there is my little shit Merlot being handed over by my daughter’s next-door neighbour who he has spent the weekend tormenting, barking at her son’s poor dog every time she tried to let poor Yorkie out… So you get the puzzle? I think my Merlot loves cats because he’s been one in the past and therefore found a tiny gap through a dense hedge, and ran after the scent of my car almost an hour after I’d driven up the road which Merlot and I had never walked up before so he could only have been following scent of my car. So Merlot used up several of his cat with 9 lives and struck lucky when said potential dog theif happened to be kind and like his mother caring about dogs, who lived next door to my daughter and son in law to be, who got married the very next day, but still after years, feel the torment of thinking they had lost my little Merlot. And as for me, you can tell I remember every part of the torment thinking my dog was lost forever!

        Sooooo, if you do escape to the pub remember that might just turn out to be the day Louis puts you first and follows you to the pub!!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. A man at my office conducts many a zoom call from inside his car — in the garage. Apparently, it is the only quiet place he can find. I’m sure the opposite would work, too. Care to nap in the car, Catorze?

    Liked by 1 person

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