Un plat qui se mange froid

~ iamthesunking

Remember Kurt Zouma? Remember what he did? The British public certainly do and, given that he’s now being prosecuted AND he had the ignominy of an own goal against Spurs a few weeks ago, it seems that Lady Karma is doing her thing.

However, we certainly weren’t about to pass up an opportunity when West Ham came to play Brentford on Sunday. Now, I’m not one of those who shouts abuse at sportspeople, no matter what they’ve done. Instead, I decided to take a leaf from the Catorzian Playbook of Unsettling Behaviour and just creepy-stare, with the help of one of these:

Good grief.

These items, unbelievably, are not props from The Purge but part of a kids’ party pack of a dozen animal masks, of which seven are cats (and one is a fox but looks sufficiently cat-like from a distance). There isn’t a fully black cat, as you can see, which upset Cat Daddy far more than he will ever admit, so he picked one of the tuxedo cats, which were plain black on the reverse, and wore it inside out.

I bought two sets of masks and handed them to anyone who would agree to wear them. However, it seems we needn’t have bothered, because the rowdy blokes in the West Stand were on it. Not only did they boo every time the ball went to Zouma, but they blasted him with two new, never-heard-before chants. The first was “R, S, P-C-A, R-S-P-C-A!” to the tune of Oops Upside Your Head (aka Louis Catorze’s Chubbing Up Song). And, when Zouma hobbled off, injured, after twenty-nine minutes, he was hailed with a chorus of “Put him down, put him down, put him down!” to the tune of Stars and Stripes Forever.

I would never wish an injury on anyone, not even Zouma. But there was something about it that felt like a karmic coup de foudre.

At the start of the game, one of the blokes who sits in front of us asked me for my score prediction, and I said, “2-1 to Brentford, with Zouma being sent off.” And that’s so eerily close to what ended up happening that I can’t help wondering whether The Mothership had anything to do with it.

Catorze doesn’t need a lawyer because he knows we can’t prove anything.

21 thoughts on “Un plat qui se mange froid”

  3. Congratulations to Brentford team for the score and to Brentford fans for the good job they did.
    Cat Daddy and you look like two of their most keen supporters, don’t you?
    ⛹🏻‍♀️⛹🏻‍♂️

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  5. Absolutely good on you!! I’m so proud of you, forget the old CCL, I’ll go with Angry Cat People and I don’t wish injury on anyone, but had he not been so put off by people defending the felines, he may have been concentrating on his game and not getting himself injured. You’re a better person than me because I would be that person who had something to say, not swearing but the temptation given an opportunity would have overwhelmed me entirely. Bravo to you and Cat Daddy, you did your boy proud 😻

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    1. I even wondered if he faked the injury just to get off the pitch and avoid the grief. But you could be right. Either way, it sounds as if he’s out of the really important European match that they had coming up.

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    1. I don’t know; if you’re a grown man of almost thirty who thinks it’s fine to do things like that, I’d say you’re pretty much a lost cause. 😞

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        1. No need to be a cat freak, just a basic human being with respect for a living creature and your own children’s minds should keep you from doing what he did and besides that, no normal person would even think it was funny!… Remember the ad where they intimated that a cat was kicked, I thought that was bad enough to put ideas into some people’s hateful heads. Just thinking about when my daughter having found our beautiful Louis lookalike Cheeky being literally used as a football by some youths is enough to tip me over the edge. She’s a darling 10 year old, has a peculiar walk where she hobbles on her front legs for absolutely no reason and hasn’t been allowed to play her favourite laser chase since it causes her to flick her head and eyes around like she’s having a fit, all which can only be related to being kicked in the head. She’s not lived with me her nanny for 8 or so years but as soon as she hears my voice in her house, she’s running to me saying ‘hello’ over and over again, and I mean actually saying the word hello. We are so blessed to have this darling being in our lives, even if she thinks my wriggling obey sensitive toes need her fangs sinking into them. My daughter also has a black part main coon, so he’s a fairly big boy and was introduced as a pesky little ball of fluff kitten to Cheeky and was generally even considered beneath enduring her feisty glare, as he got older and being an indoor cat, each time he uses the litter tray he vacates it and poor old Cheeky took it upon herself to have to dive in and do the covering up the jobby job and also she can be laying curled fast asleep and he stomps all around her until she starts grooming him! He’s a lazy slob but always very neat in appearance because Cheeky takes great care of him. When Cheeky was an outdoor cat for a brief couple of months she used to patrol the area, our neighbour had 2 brother black cats way bigger than Cheeky yet when playing rough house with them you would literally hear the boys heads slamming onto the paving slabs! She was queen of everything and I used to try and stop her but the boys would come back for more. Our neighbour got a puppy staff, we were so scared what the bungling bag of muscle and big bones would do to her but we were wrong as one day he managed to hurl himself at our makeshift bamboo ‘fence’, came crashing through and Cheeky started running (we thought for her life) and he ran after like a hooligan, she ran him around in circles until he fell into an exhausted heap on the grass, so Cheeky went and lay beside him, her tongue hanging out the side of her wide open panting mouth for a short while, then up she shot and set the poor dog off again for another round. In the end the dog had to be rescued by his owner and taken inside for a timeout!! Black cats definitely rule and Louis as the Sun King knows this. I love all types and colours of cats dearly and even Bengals are known for their character but they still don’t match up to what I’m sure is a Bombay breed, you read their description online and you’ll know Cheeky as if you’ve met her… I often thought it would be wonderful for Cheeky and Louis to meet but thinking more in depth, heaven forbid, we’d have so much apologising to do to everyone they came across 😂😂😂😻😻😻😂😂😂

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