Un plat qui se mange froid

Remember Kurt Zouma? Remember what he did? The British public certainly do and, given that he’s now being prosecuted AND he had the ignominy of an own goal against Spurs a few weeks ago, it seems that Lady Karma is doing her thing.

However, we certainly weren’t about to pass up an opportunity when West Ham came to play Brentford on Sunday. Now, I’m not one of those who shouts abuse at sportspeople, no matter what they’ve done. Instead, I decided to take a leaf from the Catorzian Playbook of Unsettling Behaviour and just creepy-stare, with the help of one of these:

Good grief.

These items, unbelievably, are not props from The Purge but part of a kids’ party pack of a dozen animal masks, of which seven are cats (and one is a fox but looks sufficiently cat-like from a distance). There isn’t a fully black cat, as you can see, which upset Cat Daddy far more than he will ever admit, so he picked one of the tuxedo cats, which were plain black on the reverse, and wore it inside out.

I bought two sets of masks and handed them to anyone who would agree to wear them. However, it seems we needn’t have bothered, because the rowdy blokes in the West Stand were on it. Not only did they boo every time the ball went to Zouma, but they blasted him with two new, never-heard-before chants. The first was “R, S, P-C-A, R-S-P-C-A!” to the tune of Oops Upside Your Head (aka Louis Catorze’s Chubbing Up Song). And, when Zouma hobbled off, injured, after twenty-nine minutes, he was hailed with a chorus of “Put him down, put him down, put him down!” to the tune of Stars and Stripes Forever.

I would never wish an injury on anyone, not even Zouma. But there was something about it that felt like a karmic coup de foudre.

At the start of the game, one of the blokes who sits in front of us asked me for my score prediction, and I said, “2-1 to Brentford, with Zouma being sent off.” And that’s so eerily close to what ended up happening that I can’t help wondering whether The Mothership had anything to do with it.

Catorze doesn’t need a lawyer because he knows we can’t prove anything.

15 thoughts on “Un plat qui se mange froid

  1. Congratulations to Brentford team for the score and to Brentford fans for the good job they did.
    Cat Daddy and you look like two of their most keen supporters, don’t you?
    ⛹🏻‍♀️⛹🏻‍♂️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Absolutely good on you!! I’m so proud of you, forget the old CCL, I’ll go with Angry Cat People and I don’t wish injury on anyone, but had he not been so put off by people defending the felines, he may have been concentrating on his game and not getting himself injured. You’re a better person than me because I would be that person who had something to say, not swearing but the temptation given an opportunity would have overwhelmed me entirely. Bravo to you and Cat Daddy, you did your boy proud 😻

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I even wondered if he faked the injury just to get off the pitch and avoid the grief. But you could be right. Either way, it sounds as if he’s out of the really important European match that they had coming up.

      Liked by 1 person

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