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I don’t know what’s going on with cats at the moment, but they all seem to be on some sort of synchronised bullshittery bonanza.

I taught an online lesson a few days ago, and all was going well until I asked the student to pick up the novel and turn to chapter 53. Her fluffy Norwegian Forest Cat, Daisy, then attacked the book, actually biting and tearing a huge chunk out of the very page that we needed for the lesson.

My student screamed, “Madame! Elle mange mon livre! Daisy, you’re so naughty!” And, in the absence of having a middle finger to raise, Daisy rolled onto her back and purred.

Rodan and Mothra have been equally disrespectful. My sister, whilst working from home, was interrupted, first, by Mothra, with a bird in her mouth. Then, as soon as my sister had sat down again after dealing with that bird, Rodan rocked up, with a second bird in his mouth. Meanwhile, a third one, having apparently witnessed the massacre, sat in the willow tree in the garden, going absolutely apeshit. Both cats were locked indoors for the remainder of the afternoon, and we fear that, now that they have a taste for avian flesh, the summer is set to be absolute carnage.

Catorze’s cat-cousin Zelva is usually pretty well-behaved, but her human (my mum) has not been without cat chaos: one of the neighbours’ cats chose her garden to have a disagreement with four magpies, who then took it in turns dive-bombing the cat. Eventually he caught one of them, and my mum had to race outside to separate them and allow the magpie a chance to escape. 

Hopefully the massive credit which she has now earned within the corvid community will make up for the utter horror of the situation. (And I bet that, whatever the nature of the altercation, the cat started it.)

As for Louis Catorze – well, just being himself is enough. You read what happened during our vet visit the other day, non?

What’s going on with them? It can’t be a coincidence that we happen to be approaching a Blue Moon? 

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