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Je crie, donc je suis

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Sa Majesté Louis Catorze, Le Roi Soleil, supreme ruler of Le Château, sworn enemy of canine foe and scourge of Ocado delivery drivers.

Month: Mar 2020

  • Le courage fait des disciples

    Not that I concern myself unduly with numbers – it’s all about quality rather than quantity for me – but it seems that the frequency of my recent postings has cost me a few followers. To be honest, I get it. I appreciate that people don’t want to read quite so many posts, and that…

  • Se gratter sans ongles

    Damn this horrid little sod. Anyone would think he didn’t want to get better. Last week we found Louis Catorze with suspicious new sore patches on his face, indicating that he had found an inventive, secret way of scratching (again). For days we puzzled over how on earth he could possibly have done it, given…

  • Le plaisir de Sa Majesté

    Last week, Cat Daddy was the one to drop the ball in our duty of care to Louis Catorze. This time it was my turn. I had just let the little sod outside for some fresh air when I suddenly remembered that I had to prepare for a work video call, and therefore an old…

  • Les mains sales (Partie 2)

    I am sure that you already knew this, Mesdames et Messieurs, but hand sanitising gel and cats don’t mix. In short, it’s because the former contains alcohol and/or tea tree and the latter are prolific lickers (especially of things that we don’t want them to lick). If you’ve had to use hand sanitising gel during…

  • Les petites pilules irrégulières

    I don’t know whether collecting Louis Catorze’s medication from the vet is something that most would class as an “essential journey” but, yesterday – BEFORE the announcement from our esteemed leader, I might add – it was essential to us. The little sod’s next steroid shot is due in the first week of April and,…

  • 28 jours plus tard

    We can’t believe that today marks four weeks of Louis Catorze being Côned, when it was only supposed to be a day or two. Nor can we believe how much life has changed because of Le Cône and its limitations. Our usual Catorzian tasks, which used to take seconds, now take considerably longer, or require…

  • Un régal pour les yeux

    You’ve got to admire Louis Catorze’s positivity: even in Le Cône and with all the doors and windows shut, when he saw me coming with the Flamazine* the other day he still thought he could outrun me. We had been granting him very limited and controlled Cône-free time behind closed (and locked) doors, to allow…

  • Le Spécial

    It’s rather ironic that, after panicking that Louis Catorze’s skin flare-up might be an allergic reaction to The Special One (my merino wool scarf), and after shutting myself away and panic-speed-knitting like an absolute demon to finish the darned thing quickly, there is now no football due to the Covid 19 virus. I finished the…

  • “EvanesCône!”

    Although the healing process doesn’t look very attractive, Louis Catorze’s recovery is progressing as it should. Cat Daddy: “Ugh. I wish we could send him away somewhere until he starts to look decent. Mind you, his “decent” still isn’t really decent, is it?” In other news, it had to happen sooner or later, Mesdames et…

  • Le deuxième Cône

    Louis Catorze has been Côned for almost three weeks – far longer than any of us expected or wanted – in which time he has managed to do the following: – Escape over the fence into That Neighbour’s garden during supervised outdoor time, Cône and all, and get stuck coming back – Escape over the…

  • L’ennemi externe

    Louis Catorze’s biopsy results are in. And it seems that, whilst he appears to have ninety-nine problems, an autoimmune disease ain’t one. Although the test can’t pinpoint the exact cause, it’s looking likely that he is triggered by one or more external allergens rather than by having something intrinsically wrong with his body. So, after…

  • Les envahisseurs doivent mourir

    Good news: Louis Catorze has something new to take his mind off his health woes. Bad news: WE HAVE A MOUSE IN OUR LIVING ROOM. The phrases “This is the last thing we need” and “You couldn’t make this shit up” were INVENTED for this household. And this is probably my punishment for laughing at…

  • Le Roi se détruit

    Whilst the rest of the world is worrying about other things, our greatest concern is the fact that Louis Catorze cannot be trusted with Le Cône in half-mode (i.e. with the detachable front part removed). Everything can be fine for a while, with Catorze appearing to heal well. Then we stupidly let our guard down…

  • La brosse royale (Partie 2)

    Louis Catorze’s fancy new facial brush arrived during the week. And, although everyone is laughing at me for buying it, it’s been a big hit with Sa Maj. My first choice was a sustainable brush with olive wood handle and pony hair bristles, but the reviewers said they “couldn’t get past the smell of horse”…