Le Roi se rétablit

Louis Catorze returned on Wednesday afternoon from his jolly day out at the vet’s TW3 branch. And he was rather more annoyed with Cat Daddy (as he’s the one who dropped him off and collected him) than with me, so I made the most of the very rare opportunity to be the favourite human, for a change. This lasted a whopping minute and a half before normal service resumed.

Le Roi has had biopsies from 4 areas of his face and is looking very battle-scarred as a result. He has to go back to the vet next week to have the stitches removed. Until then we must be even more vigilant with him than ever before, because we discovered – the hard way – that he can scratch his stitches when we take the front section off Le Cône.

We also have to give him 4ml of Metacam a day with food and, as you are well aware, he wasn’t that bothered about food even when he was fully well. So getting Metacam into a grumpy cat who never liked food very much anyway, who is experiencing post-op appetite loss and who would, most likely, go on hunger strike just to get back at us, is going to be quite some challenge.

We will, of course, update you in 3-5 days’ time when the results come in. In the meantime, to cheer us up a little, here is a picture (taken before Sa Maj’s troubles started) which is my ace of spades in response to anyone who refuses to believe how daft he is. Yes, he did spend 5 whole minutes staring out of a closed shutter:

“Où est mon royaume?”

Les pies bavardes

Louis Catorze went back to see the vet yesterday evening, but they decided against the month-long steroid shot as the previous ones haven’t been quite as effective as they’d hoped.

So the next step is the skin biopsy plus a couple of other things that can’t be done when he’s conscious because of his bad behaviour e.g. claw-clipping (just trimming the sharp ends to prevent him from cutting himself, not claw removal, obviously), an ear examination, a more in-depth eye check, and whatever else they feel the need to do. To be honest we’re at that point where we’re happy to let them take advantage of him being unconscious and do whatever they want.

Cat Daddy is going to drop him off on Wednesday morning and he will take the Special Animal Bus to TW3 and be back for collection in the afternoon, by which time they should also have his fungal culture test results.

Catorze is frustrated beyond measure at still having to wear Le Cône. But the one small silver lining of being Côned is that one can only get into limited amounts of trouble. (Yes, I realise that, ideally, one should not be able to get into any trouble whatsoever, but this is Catorze that we’re talking about.)

It was That Neighbour’s birthday last week and he was able to celebrate in peace without having to investigate God-awful screaming outside his window and then escort the offender off the premises. And Oscar the dog must be thoroughly punch-pleased that he can enjoy his garden without Catorze giving him grief, although he would perhaps be less impressed to know that his humans had come round to give love and cuddles to his nemesis at the weekend. (THANK YOU, Dog Family, for being the best people ever.)

We have been letting Catorze outside at The Back for short periods – under supervision, of course, and during daylight hours – which is one little piece of normality for him amidst all this horror. Le Cône prevents him from jumping over fences and from shimmying through gaps, so we know that he can’t possibly leave the garden. Yet, despite the fact that he always returns to the back door within minutes, it seems that this is the weak link enabling him to get into Limited, rather than No, Trouble.

Here he is having just finished annoying the magpies, who voiced their displeasure very clearly indeed:

“Je ne comprends pas, Madame Pie.”

Une chatte doit être deux choses: classe et fabuleuse

Attention all units: there is a new black French cat on the block! Such cheering news indeed after all the recent drama at Le Château.

This is Chanel, who is Cocoa the babysit cat’s new sister. And Cocoa has been a fantastic big brother, welcoming her and patiently tolerating her zany kitten behaviour. Here she is, looking utterly angelic and sweet, although we are not fooled in the slightest and are fully aware that all kittens are psychopaths:

“Je vais manger ton âme.”

So that makes a total of three black cats at our end of the street: Cocoa, Louis Catorze and now Chanel. And there is another one who lives at the other end, and who is probably blamed for most of Catorze’s rubbish, whose name we don’t yet know.

One could view this phenomenon in one of two ways:

1. Our street is the luckiest in TW8 (quite likely).

2. The Chat Noir Army of Darkness is multiplying and, one of these days/nights, they will overpower us and take over the world (considerably more likely).