Se gratter sans ongles

~ iamthesunking

Damn this horrid little sod. Anyone would think he didn’t want to get better.

Last week we found Louis Catorze with suspicious new sore patches on his face, indicating that he had found an inventive, secret way of scratching (again). For days we puzzled over how on earth he could possibly have done it, given that he is supervised 99% of the time due to his wicked and untrustworthy nature. Then we discovered that, during his sessions in the exercise yard, he had been darting out of sight behind the shed and scratching himself on a bunch of sticking-out bamboo canes.

We never bothered checking up on him when he went there because it’s only a tiny crawl space the same length and width as Catorze, and we knew that Le Cône prevented him from going far. The space is pictured below, and you can see the offending bamboo canes just above and to the right of him. Cat Daddy has now moved the canes but I’m pretty sure that, even if we put them on the moon, Catorze would find them.

Our vet practice closed last week to minimise the risk of spreading the virus. The W5 and TW3 branches are remaining open for emergencies only – and, no, the irreparable damage to both our sanity and our will to live still doesn’t deem this an emergency – so we really can’t afford to have this turn bad. It seems we are going to have to ramp up our surveillance even more intensely, and possibly even – gasp – reintroduce the full Cône when the inmate is out of sight.

Cat Daddy explained to his boy the other day that we all have to live with constraints during these difficult times, however much we dislike it.

Catorze replied with a “Mwah”. Sadly I don’t think it was the good kind.

Caught you, you little shite.

20 thoughts on “Se gratter sans ongles”

  1. Have you explained to him that we are in the apocalypse and he really needs to tone the behaviour down? His hoomans are stressed enough! I know he won’t care but it might make you feel better that you have tried. Xxx

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    1. And, just as this post went live, he found another way. Little shite scratched himself up again in the time it took me to make a pot of tea. He was indoors the whole time. I still don’t know how he did it. 😩😩😩

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        1. Or on myself, so that I see no evil (him) and hear no evil (also him). Hope you are ok and staying safe!

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  4. They haven’t found the root cause of the itching. This won’t change until they do. I feel your pain. I have an old sort of sick kitty and I don’t like the restricted hours my vet has (although she still has hours). My cats only get sick on weekends, holidays or during pandemics. Anytime that requires an extra charge at the emergency vet. Good luck with the little sod! (That’s always funny because we don’t call them sods here. We call them a lot of things but not sods! 🙂 )

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  5. One of Murphy’s Laws is : “It is impossible to make something foolproof because fools are so creative.” No offense, but this should probably be revised to include “catproof.”

    Do you have any of the Feliways ? There are sprays that also can calm a cat. Though he may be so offended that he is NOT gonns be calm. Purrayers before he gets stuck or summat.

    And maybe telling him how dire the situation is is what set him off – like those who defy social distancing.

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    1. I don’t think he’s actually stressed. 🤣 I think the little sod is way too comfortable in Le Cône now and is actually getting too cocky and over-confident. Hope you are all staying safe too.

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