louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Category: Uncategorized
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If it’s true that cats are master actors when it comes to hiding pain, Louis Catorze is giving us the full Day-Lewis (younger followers: ask your parents) at the moment. Somehow, in the midst of all his dental issues, he is continuing to hunt. Cat Daddy heard him gadding about in the corridor one evening.…
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It has been a week of food-related drama here at Le Château, caused by the males in the household. Cat Daddy came home drunk the other night after going to the rugby, and he refused the pasta I was making on the basis that he was “not sober enough to appreciate it”. I stopped preparing…
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When you are looking for a place to sleep, and none of your existing 9,062 beds will do – why does this sound like déjà vu? – what better place to choose than, erm, a pile of papers waiting to be shredded? Before you start to panic, don’t worry: the shredder wasn’t plugged in. So…
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It’s not often that we catch Louis Catorze doing sensible things but, every now and again, it happens. And luckily I have photographic proof, otherwise I don’t think anyone would believe me. Cat Daddy spotted him the other day at a new Rodent Duty station: underneath the bird feeder, staring intently at the spot where…
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Legend has it that, if you go to bed early because have something important to do the next morning, a black vampire cat will appear in the dead of night and raise merry hell. And that is exactly what happened the night before my first day back at school. Going back to work in January…
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If you are British, over a certain age and a follower of this blog, you will, no doubt, have spent New Year’s Eve exactly as we did: at home, TUC, watching the London fireworks on television and muttering things like, “What a waste of money” or “I bet Sydney’s were better”. Louis Catorze ended last…
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It’s New Year’s Eve. There was a time when I would rather have punched myself in both eyes than stayed home tonight. Whereas, now, the idea of catching a tube across town and paying £30 to enter a pub that I would ordinarily be able to enter free of charge, doesn’t appeal at all. Plus…
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Cat Daddy and I are feeling very smug indeed at the way in which we have used almost every last scrap of turkey. We have had turkey pie and turkey curry, and I am about to make and freeze a large batch of turkey and garlic soup, ready for when I return to my plague…
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We had a wonderful Christmas Day, and we hope that you did, too. The only real incident was caused not by Louis Catorze but by Cat Daddy, when he told me to put the bread bin on the floor “to see if Catorze would be stupid enough to climb into it”, then got drunk and…
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“It’s Christmas time. There’s no need to be afraid.” Clearly Bob Geldof and Midge Ure had never met Louis Catorze; the last few days have been awful because of my flu, and the little sod has been nothing short of merciless in his demands for play. If I ignore him, he either chases his tail…
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Merde, merde and thrice merde: I have the flu. And I don’t mean a bad cold which I’m calling “the flu” just to feel sorry for myself. I mean proper, checked-the-symptoms, can’t-sit-upright flu. I even had to cancel a pre-booked and much-needed physio appointment, although I sounded so pathetic on the phone that they took…
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I love the winter solstice. Not quite as much as I love Hallowe’en, but I’m all for an occasion which is about a turning of tides. A Ctrl-Alt-Delete of the mind and soul, if you will. At this time of year, I often say that I’m very lucky to have everything that I want. And…
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Louis Catorze has a new sound. He already has an impressive catalogue of sounds in addition to his default scream – I have started to call it “default” rather than “normal” for obvious reasons – and we thought he was too old to be coming up with new ones. As ever, he has done something…
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You know that part in Tim Burton’s “The Nightmare Before Christmas” when the kids’ presents turn into hideous, nightmarish monsters? Yeah, well: Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs: Louis Catorze has claimed, as his new bed, my nieces’ and nephews’ presents bag. Luckily each item is individually bagged, keeping them safe from the horrors of cat hair,…
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