louiscatorze.com

Je crie, donc je suis

Author: iamthesunking

  • LOUIS CATORZE EST SANS CÔNE. Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs: after 7.5 weeks of being Côned, he was freed a day or two ago (but we didn’t blog it immediately in case it all turned to merde and we had to reCône him again). Had we not been in lockdown we probably would have unCôned him…

  • The government announced a couple of days ago that the U.K. is due to remain locked down for “at least a further three weeks”. Not that anyone knows what this means. Three weeks from the date of the announcement? Three weeks from when the first three weeks came to an end? In fact, when DID…

  • Video calls: no. Just no. Whilst Cat Daddy insists that they are “no different from meeting in person” (?), for me they have a performance element that makes me cringe. I am not a YouTuber, for heaven’s sake. And if I didn’t want to video call when I looked normal and had interesting things to…

  • I am so, so sorry for the deluge of posts. It’s this darned cat. He just won’t stop. And I am keen to document every bit of it to make a point to all those who say, “But he’s so cute!” “He’s like a little kitten!” “I can’t imagine him being naughty!” and other such…

  • Holy. Flippin’. Hell. I was just about to say “I guess this had to happen sooner or later” but, I’ll be honest, I absolutely NEVER thought it would happen: Louis Catorze gave Cat Daddy the slip during their joint outdoor exercise session – Cat Daddy on the stationary bike and Catorze pitter-pattering around – and…

  • Now that the steroids have kicked in, living with Louis Catorze is rather like living with a drug addict (not that I have lived with THAT many drug addicts in my life, but you know what I mean). He spends his days either asleep, bouncing off the walls or having an attack of the munchies.…

  • We appear to be living in not one but TWO horror movie sub-genres at the moment: 1. Post-apocalyptic dystopia. 2. Erm, those films in which the protagonist offends the wrong people and receives a warning message daubed on their house. Not content with annoying the magpies, the parakeets, the foxes and the dogs, and despite…

  • We are very lucky to have a garden that we have been able to transform into a mini fitness area. Any kind of outside space in London is a precious gift but, at this time, we appreciate it more than ever. Trying to work out at home with Louis Catorze around has had, shall we…

  • Last week the vet confirmed that we may start giving Louis Catorze his steroid pills. This was a huge relief to us because the little sod was hell-bent on scratching, and outwitted us every time we tried to stop him. I had reached the stage where I couldn’t make my morning pot of tea unless…

  • The good thing about having a black cat is that, when they raise hell, you can pretend it was some other cat and not yours. And the chances of anyone proving otherwise, beyond all reasonable doubt, are slim. If they raise hell at night it’s even better, because the darkness hides them and therefore there…

  • This would have been the first Sunday of the Easter holidays, with people out and about doing fun things in beautiful weather. Instead we’re still in lockdown, too scared to step outside for fear of the sunshine flushing out the non-space-respecting stupids, and days of the week aren’t even a thing anymore. But it doesn’t…

  • I have completed a whole fortnight of teaching from home and survived to tell the tale. It was someone else’s cat – a lovely plushy ginge called Simba, belonging to one of my students – who brought my video lessons to a standstill by gatecrashing, meowing to the class and then settling on the desk…

  • This turbulent period of time seems to be bringing out the furthermost extremes of human behaviour. The good: Everyone in our street is sharing provisions (responsibly) and looking out for each other. And, last weekend, we had a quarantine barbecue with Oscar the dog’s family – them in their garden, us in ours, separate food…

  • Not that I concern myself unduly with numbers – it’s all about quality rather than quantity for me – but it seems that the frequency of my recent postings has cost me a few followers. To be honest, I get it. I appreciate that people don’t want to read quite so many posts, and that…