Où est le jambon?

Louis Catorze’s birthday is tomorrow, and we have a bit of a Code Gris situation at Le Château: no jambon de Bayonne. And I don’t suppose the government would regard a trip to the Natoora deli in W4 to buy artisan French cured ham for my cat’s birthday as “essential journeying” (even though I do).

We did manage to order some from Ocado mid-month, but that was two weeks ago and notre cher ami will not eat jambon that has been frozen and thawed. So, although he was able to enjoy that particular jambon at that particular time, it would not have been suitable as The Birthday Jambon.

Tant pis: we have plenty of Crémant for us, and we have a playlist of around thirty songs begun by Cat Daddy and completed by Oscar the dog’s human sister. Highlights include “Dreaming of Mice”, taken from an album of relaxation songs for cats. (I’m not joking. Someone somewhere has actually decided that cats are under too much stress, and that they need to take time out of their daily grind for some meditation and mindfulness.)

Here is the little sod, visualising rays of glorious sunshine with sweet birdsong, a plentiful supply of Fabulous Fish and humans who attend to his every need. Oh no, wait … I’ve just described his ACTUAL LIFE.

If he stares for long enough, maybe the JamBonhomme will appear?

21 thoughts on “Où est le jambon?

  1. Happy Birthday Louis Catorze. I feel for you possibly not having your favorite treat, but your slaves are doing their best. Frost and Charlie send their greetings and best wishes from Colorado.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Joyeux Anniversaire à Le Roi! I hope his day is full of fun 🙂 As for the trip to buy Le Jambon Royale, what part of His Majestys’ birthday does the gov’t not understand?🤔 It’s an outrage! I highly recommend a protest 😈 Sa Maj deserves no less…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Merci! Luckily he has the memory and attention span of a swatted gnat, so he won’t know. And if he does, he won’t remember! 🤣

      Liked by 1 person

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