What would you would attempt, were you not guaranteed to fail?
(I’ve changed the wording slightly to make it a better fit for today’s catastrophe.)
I’d make cats stop being massive shites. But, since it’s impossible, I shan’t even bother to try.
The Bus of Misrule usually stops off here in October, but it seems to have passed us by and, instead, made a quick return trip to the south coast.
My sister’s family have barely recovered from Otis’s bullshittery, and now it’s Roux’s turn.
The evil deed took place at the witching hour of 3am. Roux’s human mamma and big sister were having a sleepover in said bedroom, when they were awoken to the sound of scratching. The little sod had peed on the newly-laid carpet – so new, in fact, that the humans had not yet paid the invoice for it.
The family WhatsApp group is now pinging away merrily with links to orange oil, enzyme-based carpet cleaner and various other substances known for repelling pissy cats. Since Louis Catorze has only ever toileted inappropriately twice, each time when a human* had inadvertently blocked his exit route, for once in my life I can use “Sorry I can’t be of any help here” as a flex.
*Not me.
Cats, come on, please give us a break. (Catorze, as you were.)
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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