Louis Catorze’s blood test results are in.
His thyroid reading is now at a healthy level, which means that his medication is at the right dosage for him. However, his kidney reading is slightly elevated, most likely due to the thyroid medication “unmasking” a previously-hidden kidney condition (that same one that seems to come for all old cats in the end).
This isn’t the best news, but it’s perhaps not surprising at his age.
The vet’s next suggestions were as follows:
- A urine sample to confirm the kidney disease. Given that Catorze doesn’t use a litter tray, and didn’t even use one when he was Côned and under house arrest for months, extracting this from him is not going to be fun.
- A diet of shitty renal food. Well, ok, the vet didn’t use quite these same words to sell it, although she did say that most cats found the food “not very palatable”. Catorze refuses jamón serrano because it’s not as nice as jamón ibérico, and once went on hunger strike for two days because I wouldn’t give him Michelin-starred hot-smoked salmon as his regular food. Is it likely that he will eat Royal Canin renal food, containing 4% meat and 96% scrapings from the factory floor?
Cat Daddy and I have some thinking to do. Meanwhile, Sa Maj has just had an ice cube massage and is out enjoying the sun, as a Sun King should.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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