louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
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about
Month: Jun 2022
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My summer holiday, so far, has been all about Louis Catorze: organising his vet appointment, his chat-sitteur and his play dates with the little girl next door, and trying (and failing) to stop his ear-bleedingly noisy altercations with the parakeets. It’s like having an especially high-maintenance and troublesome toddler. In better news, after what feels…
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At the weekend I was chat-sitting Blue the Smoke Bengal whilst his mamma was away. I am very lucky that I was trusted to look after him, after what happened last time. During the Easter holidays I was supposed to feed him from Sunday evening to Thursday morning, and I forgot. I don’t know how…
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Merci à Dieu: it’s the school holidays. And my long summer break started off in true Catorzian style: when I came home I trod in some cat puke and, because I was three double vodkas under, I didn’t notice and ended up treading it all around the place. My conversation with Cat Daddy went something…
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A couple of years ago, I posted about the many voices of Louis Catorze. I can now report that the little sod has a new sound, a kind of irritated “Prrr-owww!” chirp that he emits only during grooming, either when I try to flip him or when I brush his fur in the wrong direction.…
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It’s the summer solstice, and today is Cat Daddy’s favourite day of the year because of the almost-everlasting light. This year it’s mid-week, which isn’t ideal for me, but the fact that Cat Daddy is retired means he can enjoy it to the maximum without having to worry about going to work the next day.…
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There has been so much going on at Le Château. Firstly, my students have completed their exams and this pretty much sums up their level of preparedness: Cat Daddy is home, and Louis Catorze is so happy about this that his screaming and purring have been through the roof. A couple of nights ago a…
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Not long after the Louis Catorze’s vet appointment, during which we didn’t mention the mats on account of them having long gone, I discovered these: These quite literally sprang up overnight and, during the few days leading up to me spotting these, he showed no indication of struggling to groom or any such thing. Clearly…
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Cat Daddy is away on holiday with his cycling buddies, so it’s only me and Louis Catorze at Le Château. This was Cat Daddy’s view the other day: And this was mine: As if it’s not bad enough being home alone with a black vampire cat whose body is adorned with an evil eye, the…
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One of the good things about having a black cat is that, if they’re raising hell in public, you can always pretend it must be some other cat. I have had to do this around 8,073 times (each) with Louis Catorze and his big brother, Luther, so I’m used to it by now. However, it’s…
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Louis Catorze has a complicated and bizarre water drinking ritual, which is as follows: 1. Approach drinking station and position himself appropriately, usually – although not always – with his back to the wall and facing outwards, to avoid stealth attacks from unknown enemies. 2. Sniff water to ensure that it isn’t poisoned. 3. Look…
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Kurt Zouma has been sentenced to 180 hours of community service and been banned from keeping animals for five years. As he left court, he was greeted by this: No, this isn’t me. (Only because I didn’t think of it.) We don’t yet know what the community service will be, but I hope it will…
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Merde, merde and thrice merde: my alternative bunting didn’t arrive, despite me paying an eye-stingingly expensive delivery charge to have it in time for the weekend. So I guess it will have to wait until the next noteworthy royal event, and luckily it’s the kind of timeless design that will keep. Cat Daddy: “Is it…
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Today marks the Queen’s platinum jubilee and, apparently, there are around sixteen thousand street parties being held around the U.K. this weekend. Neither Cat Daddy nor I are royalists and we find it all rather grotesque and distasteful, so we won’t be joining in any celebrations. Also, since we are already being bled dry to…
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The vet told us that Louis Catorze’s bald patch was growing back, but I am not convinced. The more I stare at it, the more it starts to look like the Eye of Sauron from Lord of the Rings: Many friends have asked whether the little sod is over-grooming it and, although he is fastidiously…
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