Kurt Zouma has been sentenced to 180 hours of community service and been banned from keeping animals for five years. As he left court, he was greeted by this:
No, this isn’t me. (Only because I didn’t think of it.)
We don’t yet know what the community service will be, but I hope it will involve cleaning animal excrement of some sort. Alternatively, he should be made to wear these for the whole of the new football season, on and off the pitch:
These shoes have been inspired by Snowball II from The Simpsons. But, since Snowball II happens to be a black cat with vampire teeth, we’ll claim it and happily pretend that Louis Catorze is Adidas’ muse.
Aren’t the shoes splendid? The only problem is that they don’t make them in adult sizes so, since I can neither wear them myself nor buy them for Kurt Zouma, I shall, instead, have to choose the least resistant of my nieces and nephews to be the wearer.
This is how much I fancy my chances, with 0 meaning utter compliance and 10 representing an unyieldingness harder than diamond:
jesuisleroisoleil 
Why do they do this to us?! I’d buy those shoes too. I fell in love with a pair of wellies with skeleton legs and feet on them. They were only for kids too. Humph.
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I haven’t had wellies for years, but I’d deffo go for a skeleton pair! 💀
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I work on a farm. They’re part of the uniform. 😂
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Dang ! I was about to ask if those shoes were available in the US !
Good job on the punishment for Zouma – your penalties are better than over here. Cleaning shelter litter boxes for a week or two would be a good punishment. The cat he kicked was aupposedly his own, right ?
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Yes, his own. He had two and both were taken away.
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May he also develop Catorcian bald spots, dandruff and eating difficulties !
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Oh God, hahahaha, yes!
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Do you know whether Zouma’s two cats have already found a new family as exceptional as Louis’s?
🐈⬛
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Haha, no, I believe they’re still with the RSPCA.
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I was pulling your leg. Everyone who reads your blog knows that another outstanding family like yours doesn’t exist all over the world.
😉
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Well, we have a unique cat. Take that how you will. 🤣🤣🤣
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I always loved the kids shoes better than the adult version. They get the pretty colors and unusual designs. Ain’t fair!
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I know! I would totally wear these!
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They probably won’t let Zouma volunteer at an animal shelter
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That’s true! 😐
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These come in adult sizes: https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81EHgDbUuUL._AC_UY695_.jpg
I know because I have a pair 😀 I think he got off lightly, tbh, but what else is new? If there’s an afterlife, I hope it’s run by cats.
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Hahahaha! I could always paint some fangs on!
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I might just do the same 🙂
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DO IT!
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