Le jubilé de platine

Today marks the Queen’s platinum jubilee and, apparently, there are around sixteen thousand street parties being held around the U.K. this weekend. Neither Cat Daddy nor I are royalists and we find it all rather grotesque and distasteful, so we won’t be joining in any celebrations. Also, since we are already being bled dry to fund the luxurious lifestyle of a certain member of the French aristocracy, we have neither the time nor the wherewithal to fuss over another monarch.

My friend Lizzi sent me this a few days ago (see below). At first I thought it was a meme, but it’s actually more like a reminder. A Polite Reminder*, in fact, politely reminding us that, if we aren’t already providing our feline overlords with royal feasts, tributes, castles and thrones, we flippin’ well ought to:

It’s a full house for Sa Maj.

*Non-Brits, ask your British friends and they will tell you that a Polite Reminder is the opposite of what it appears to be. Polite Reminders also vary in their level of politeness, for instance the one above is moderate, but we have a far less polite Polite Reminder affixed with Blu Tac above the sink at work, typed in Comic Sans font with the message: “POLITE REMINDER: STOP LEAVING DIRTY MUGS AND PLATES IN THE SINK!!!!!!!!”

Just like the Queen, Louis Catorze has multiple celebratory days which are all about him. In fact, he has more: 30th April (his birthday), the summer solstice (simply because he’s the Sun King), 14th July (la Fête Nationale, which is entirely the opposite of a salute to the monarchy but he’s claiming it anyway), 20th July (his moving-in day aka the Ascension to the Throne), 17th August (Black Cat Appreciation Day), 27th October (National Black Cat Day) and 31st October (Hallowe’en). However, this is by no means an exhaustive list and Catorze reserves the right to assert ownership of further days, as and when they take his fancy. In fact, when he sees the jubilee party taking place tomorrow afternoon in the park over the road, he will naturally assume that it’s all for him, whether we go or not.

Anyway, whilst the rest of TW8 celebrates the Queen, we will be celebrating the Sun King, and I’ve even bought my own, erm, alternative bunting for the occasion. I haven’t told Cat Daddy about it yet but, by the time this weekend is over, the whole street will know about it.

“Polite reminder: feed moi.”

18 thoughts on “Le jubilé de platine

    1. Because the constant attention, the apocalyptically-expensive food and the private healthcare aren’t enough!

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  1. I don’t have a say in it of course, but in general and without any mean feelings, I think it’s time to end all monarchies. This given with my mum she loved the queen. Kudos to you and the DH.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wonderful to hear from you! Funnily enough I had this conversation with Sa Maj the other day:

      Me: “Meow once if you couldn’t give a shit about the jubilee.”
      Him: “Mwahhhh!”
      Me: “Meow once if you think the monarchy should f**k off.”
      Him: “Mwahhhh!”
      Me: “Meow once if you think you should f**k off with them, since you’re a king.”
      Him: “……………”

      (I’m not joking. This actually happened!)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Louis is lucky to have so much celebratory days. Our poor cat is not as lucky as him. Fortunately, he doesn’t read your blog.
    😺

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Just like you and Cat Daddy, I’m definitely not a royalist. I can’t understand why so many people love Kings and Queens. To me, this kind of institutes belong to Middle Ages times. Just give us an election for a president. But hey, seeing his Royal Highness Louis makes me think otherwise…
    One more thing: the West Ham footballer was in our Belgian news again with his 180 hours of community service for kicking his cat…

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    1. We can’t understand it, either. Our royal family has priceless jewels locked away in a tower, and meanwhile people are skipping meals so that their kids can eat. It’s obscene. I can’t believe Kurt Zouma made the Belgian news! I’ll be posting about him next week. 🐈‍⬛

      Liked by 2 people

        1. I wrote it as soon as the verdict was given, but couldn’t post it at the time; there wasn’t room due to Le Blog being full of our mutual friend’s nonsense. 😐

          Liked by 1 person

  4. I discovered that I am descended from King Henry I and another ancestor, Catherine Carey, who could have been the daughter of Henry VIII. Even so, I try not to think of myself as Royal. 🙂

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  5. Like my favourite king, Louis Catorze, I vote for the abolition of human royalty, but not the abolition of feline royalty! Life would be very sad without our gorgeous kings and queens and princesses. And also, what would be the meaning of life for us, if we could no longer be slaves for our tyrants… errr… I mean, our lovely furry babies?

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    1. If it weren’t for Sa Maj I’d have so many more hours in the day! I’d probably spend them on other cats, though. 😬

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