Merde. We have just experienced MatGate 2.0. And, once again, the TWO mats in question were at the undesirable end of la personne royale:

“ … There’s a mat on mi kitty, what ammm I gonna do? …

I don’t know whether these were new mats, or leftovers from the previous ones which I thought I’d removed but hadn’t. Either way, I have had to deploy the Dematting Rake again. This time the mats were stubborn beyond belief and our mutual friend was not happy with my efforts to remove them. And I don’t think I will ever recover from the fact that the larger mat was coated in some sort of transparent, dried crud which TOUCHED MY HAND. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he had sat on a snail, the only animal too slow to move out of the way of his arse.

This one was HARD WORK.

I know that mats are not unusual for cats, but these two recent incidents are Catorze’s ONLY incidents. What could possibly make a once-unmatty cat suddenly develop them after twelve years? Does it mean that, in his old age, he is becoming less and less able to groom his arse end, despite being lithe and kittenish in every other way? That said, if it’s taken twelve years for us to see any signs of his advancing years, the little sod has had a pretty good run.

Cat Daddy: “It’s just his runtiness. It’s all part of being the runt of the litter.”

Me: “Awww. You think he was the runt of the litter?”

Cat Daddy: “Oh my God. You DON’T think he was the runt of the litter?”

[Silence, tumbleweed, crickets]

Anyway, I don’t suppose it matters as long as Catorze has his entourage at hand to fix the problem (which we have, in time for his birthday so, hopefully, he will be presentable for his party). And that is exactly as it should be for a Sun King.

Matty cat.

UPDATE: since writing this post I have found yet another mat, again at the arse end. And this one was STICKY. Ugh.

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21 responses to “La vengeance des nœuds”

  1. Kate Crimmins avatar

    I hate unknown substances in their fur. Icky!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      I know! Wondering what they could be sends my mind to some dark places.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Lou Carreras avatar

    He’s getting into something outside…ick for you having to guess what it is and remove said noxious substance.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      The not knowing just kills me!

      Like

  3. Bipolar's gf avatar

    Claude is being regularly dematted with his rake. I think I now have enough additional fur for another one of him but that is an idea too terrifying to contemplate. Izzy (mummy-cat) and Boo (brother-cat) are smooth haired but I’ve given them a go too, so they don’t feel left out. Phantom isn’t having any of it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Haha, so Phantom just point-blank refuses? 🤣🤣🤣

      Like

      1. Bipolar's gf avatar

        He has enormous claws on his murder mittens. The lodger is too scared to try. 😂

        Liked by 2 people

        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          He sounds terrifying!

          Like

          1. Bipolar's gf avatar

            He’s a fairly big cat with long fur but my lodger is a 6’6″ ex Royal Marine. I know who rules who in that relationship.

            Liked by 2 people

            1. iamthesunking avatar
              iamthesunking

              Haha, I know very well that the size and number of the humans make no difference. Catorze weighs 3kg and yet four adults failed to hold him down to administer his blood test.

              Liked by 2 people

  4. Dr. CaSo avatar

    Yep, definite sign of arthritis 😦 Or dementia. Or both. Shall we start calling him Lord Stickybutt?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Ewww, stickybutt. 🤢 Yes, someone else suggested that maybe he isn’t quite bendy enough to groom his rear end.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. mmechapeau avatar
    mmechapeau

    Cat Daddy can be odd. Does he really think a runt of the litter can manage to become the king of Le Château?
    🐈‍⬛

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Royalty are a sickly lot, though, aren’t they? They receive the best medical care … but only because they really need it!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. mmechapeau avatar
    mmechapeau

    I didn’t picture royalty so, but indeed, you are right.
    🐈‍⬛

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Mary McNeil avatar
    Mary McNeil

    Are there any evergreen trees in his domain ? As the weather arms inthe Spring they tend to exude resin.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      There are a few, yes. I like to think it’s of vegetable rather than animal origin. 🤢

      Liked by 1 person

  8. cat9984 avatar

    Good thing he had retainers. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Retainers?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. cat9984 avatar

        Royal assistants

        Liked by 1 person

        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          Ahhh! Retainers mean something entirely different in the U.K.. We know them as dental devices!

          Liked by 1 person

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