Louis Catorze really has surpassed himself this time with his dark arts and sorcery.
It was 6pm and, once again, he had eaten around his pill leaving it untouched in his bowl, so I had no option but to dig it out from inside the Pill Pocket and Greco it to him. I decided to grab him whilst he was on our bed – better a static target than a moving, screaming one – and this was the sequence of events that unfolded that terrifying evening:
1. First Greco attempt: spat out.
2. Second attempt: spat out.
3. Third attempt: little sod not only spat it out but rolled on top of it. And there was no unrolling him.
Yes, I know that he only weighs 3.5kg (or thereabouts). Yes, I know that I weigh considerably more. But this is Catorze we are talking about; if he doesn’t want it to happen, it won’t.
4. Fake-stroking in an effort to make him unroll.
5. Purring but no unrolling.
6. More fake-stroking.
7. Purring but no unrolling.
Eventually I gave up and decided to go back downstairs. At this point Catorze decided to join me and stood up to stretch.
The pill was nowhere to be seen.
I. Looked. Everywhere. It was neither in the folds of the duvet, nor on the floor, nor stuck to Catorze’s fur (and I made sure of this, patting him down like a prison officer searching an inmate for a concealed shank). Rien, nichts, niente, nada.
THE SPOOKY LITTLE FREAK HAD MADE HIS PILL DISAPPEAR. And we still haven’t found it.
I am nowhere near competent enough to take on this kind of devilry. And Catorze knows this perfectly well.
jesuisleroisoleil 
I just found a pill on the bathroom floor his morning.. It is either Denaraman (one of the cat’s liver supplements) or my Raloxifene . So I pitched it. We had enough to substitute for both.
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What does “pitched it” mean?
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Threw it in the trash – rather than being a cheapskate and taking it (Turned out it WAS one the cat had spit out. That was less risky than when the cat who was hyperthyroid had a pill that looked just like my beta blocker. THAT one I asked a pharmacist to clarify.) Just be glad you and CD don’t have any meds that resemble Catorze’s !
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Haha, thank you! I understood “pitching it” to mean having an idea and suggesting it to someone, so I was confused!
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No words. 🙂
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😱😱😱
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I want a tee-shirt and a coffee cup and possibly a hoodie with this photo of le roi! Such attitude. We can only aspire to be like HIM.
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That can definitely be arranged!
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He is one cunning petit diable, that’s for sure!! Can’t wait to hear what he gets up to next, love him xxxxx
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Well, the guy has come to trim our wisteria and our mutual friend is on high alert, so you may not have to wait long! 😩
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“There was no unrolling him.” Snigger
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HE WOULD NOT UNROLL.
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What is the pill for? A few years ago we had to give our cat, Puck, a Prozac pill for anxiety. The process of getting a pill in him caused way more anxiety, in both him and us, than the pill relieved, so we quickly gave up on it.
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It’s a steroid pill, for his mysterious allergy (origin still unknown). If you have any of those anti-anxiety pills left over, please fling a few my way. For me, not for Catorze. 😩
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Hahaha 🙂
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This is a long shot but I have heard of human allergies disappearing after fixing the microbiome. So maybe adding probiotics to his food might help. They tend not to notice that.
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I will mention it to the vet next time. The steroids are a last resort – or, rather, an ONLY resort because nothing else works – so it would be good to have another option. Thanks!
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Good luck.
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Are you sure he didn’t swallow it?
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Absolutely 100%. I saw it hit the bed, and I saw him roll on top of it.
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He is a scary sort when he chooses to be, isn’t he?
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He is terrifying.
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He probably ate it to spite you when you gave up 🙂 People without cats don’t realize how stubborn (and strong and damn slippery) they can be when they want to get out of something. We should all be grateful that they (mostly) like us humans.
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He deffo didn’t. I saw him roll on it, and he didn’t move again until he got up and I saw that the pill had vanished. 🙀🙀🙀
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Absorption by osmosis? I will say, that’s definitely the most creative way I’ve heard of anyone getting out of taking meds– just making them disappear outright. You need to find a way to harness his skills 😉
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“Skills” is not the word I would use. “Terrifying demonic powers” may be more appropriate. 😳
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There are so many possibilities– he could be one of the “wee folk” (or he might’ve just learned from them). Or maybe he can manipulate matter on a quantum level 🙂
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He is definitely not a normal cat. Our theory is that he was left behind by a UFO like ET … except his fellow spacelings didn’t want him back! 👽
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