Since we implemented Louis Catorze’s Front Curfew, he has been in on time every night without fail.
Now, we know our boy and we knew something would go wrong. And we were right.
Last night we’d had the window open for several hours and Catorze had been back and forth numerous times throughout the evening whilst we watched television. Then, as curfew time approached, it dawned on us that we hadn’t been keeping track properly, and so we didn’t know whether he was in or out.
Calling him would have been pointless, as we know from bitter experience that he hides/ignores when he doesn’t want to be found. So we had no option but to sit with the window open until we were sure of his whereabouts, and we knew that we could be sitting there for several hours.
At 10:20pm, Catorze appeared at the living room door. He had been indoors and/or at The Back the entire time.
Cat Daddy was sitting nearest to the window so I asked him to close it before the inmate absconded. However, by that time, he’d had far too much of his weird cocktail* and wasn’t good for anything, so he just sat and flailed about like a flaccid octopus.
*Artisan south coast rum mixed with some of his dodgy home-made pineapple concoction. When I asked if the latter were alcoholic or not, he said he didn’t know (?).
Me: “He’s going to do a runner if we don’t shut the window.”
Cat Daddy: [Flaccid octopus flailing]
Me: “Did you hear what I said? I’ll take too long stepping over you, so it’ll be quicker for you to shut it.”
Cat Daddy: [More flaccid octopus flailing]
Me: “SHUT THE BLOODY WINDOW!”
The moment I raised my voice, Catorze picked up on the “Someone’s in trouble here” tone and, understandably, assumed it to be him. After all, it usually is. And he wasn’t hanging around to find out the specific nature of said trouble; he was out of the window like a speeding train before either of us could so much as draw breath.
So there we were, sitting and waiting. Again.
Cat Daddy and I really need to get better at this. It’s a tragic day when you’re outwitted by a cat who’s thicker than a block of wood and not nearly as useful.

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