louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Category: Uncategorized
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Louis Catorze is creeping me out. I am home alone with him right now because Cat Daddy has gone out, and I can hear the sound of the little sod thundering around on our wooden floorboards. I am certain that Le Roi has company but that’s not the worst part of this. After all, I…
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Louis Catorze appears to be on some sort of hunger strike. He’s eaten pitifully little since we returned from holiday, and I imagine it’s either because of the warm weather, or because he’s just an idiot. I’m leaning more towards the latter. Everything else about him is “normal” – in fact, the other day he…
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Cat Daddy and I are home. We are very lucky to be able to go on holiday, but I always look forward to coming home. Louis Catorze, however, disagrees. He greeted us by meowing disdainfully, then wriggled free of my hug and pitter-pattered off into the Zone Libre for several hours. Cat Daddy: “I don’t…
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We are on the last part of our holiday: a few days in the North East, in a lovely townhouse overlooking a little marina. Once again we appear to be on Dog Territory, and I’m not sure that the Sun King would approve of this: Part of our trip included seeing a friend whom I…
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Earlier this month, Puppy Mamma gave me this: I know. Isn’t it brilliant? I am very lucky to have her as a friend. And, yes, someone has actually taken the time to make a map of cats! Who would do that? (In actual fact I think most of us probably would, and the only reason…
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Cat Daddy and I are spending a few days in an isolated cottage in North Wales. When we made ourselves a cup of tea on arrival we were met with this, but it did get better from then onwards: We now know the wonder of waking up to silence every morning. No screaming felines, no…
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Before we went on holiday, we took delivery of some new waterproof cushions for our outdoor sofa. (The previous ones were neither waterproof nor machine-washable, making them as unfit for purpose as can possibly be, although we did insist on washing them after the incident with the curly-haired rat: https://louiscatorze.com/2016/08/14/a-bon-chat-bon-rat/) The collection consists of sitting-on…
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Cat Daddy and I have decided to escape for few days (to a self-catering cottage on our own, I might add, not to some virussy plague pit with lots of other people). We have arranged for a friend to to come and live with Louis Catorze during our absence and, rather than give her the…
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*Yes, of course the “mal” is our mutual friend. Who else would it be? Louis Catorze appears to have adopted Teenage Me’s body clock: sleeping all day and partying all night. The little sod goes out at dusk and eventually rolls in between around 4am and 5am every morning. At night, The Back is transformed…
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Louis Catorze does not like sitting on bare skin. He favours fluffy blankets or denim, merci for asking. He is also not a fan of, erm, the fan. It’s not the noise, but the breeze; he seems to find it quite annoying and moves away, flicking his ears and muttering obscenities under his breath, when…
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Cat Daddy really should know better. 10:00pm: He complains that Louis Catorze hasn’t caught any rodents or birds all year, and claims that cats who hunt are more manly than those who don’t (?). 4.39am the next day: The little sod screams repeatedly in my face (note: not in Cat Daddy’s face but in MINE)…
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We have starting using Louis Catorze’s beauty oil 2,0 – called Coatex – and it seems to smell very slightly less pungent than the Nutramega, so hopefully this means it will make him smell less pungent, too. This time the oil inside the capsules is a runny liquid, so I have to be very careful…
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According to the creepy old magpie rhyme, seven indicates “a secret never to be told”. In this case, it’s not much of a secret: Louis Catorze is on the other side of the fence, winding them up, and they’re all cackling at him. If you zoom in, you can even see the bottom right one…
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In June we discovered that Louis Catorze was at his lowest weight ever, and we had no idea why since he was eating and drinking fine and his test results were normal. His royal physician instructed us to, erm, feed him unlimited amounts of the most expensive food on the planet and bring him back…
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