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Je crie, donc je suis

What job would you do for free?

We have a rat in the garden. It casually ambled past the patio doors when the Dog Family and Blue the Smoke Bengal’s mamma were round for lunch, and every single one of them saw it. 

Louis Catorze was nowhere to be found at the time. We believe he was asleep in his freezer bag. 

It’s embarrassing enough having your guests think your property is a manky, rat-infested hovel, but the fact that we have a cat makes it even worse. So the one job which we would really like Catorze to do is the one, bare-minimum job that any cat would be expected to do: fix the bloody rodent problem. 

Blue the Smoke Bengal would have ended that rat in an instant. However, whilst Catorze has previous when it comes to rat-catching – for instance, the one that he gifted to his chat-sitteur, and the one that traumatised our cleaning lady – both of those were ages ago. He didn’t catch a single rodent in 2025 and I don’t see him doing it now, especially as he is the expert at doing the exact opposite of what we want him to do. 

Cat Daddy: “He NEEDS to catch that rat. Even if he brings it up to the bedroom, I don’t care. As long as he catches it.” 

And now I won’t be sleeping ever again. Thanks for that. 

Come on, Catorze. It’s more important now than ever before for you to do the right thing. 

It might help if you moved your arse and went outside.

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30 responses to “Il y a un rat dans mon jardin: qu’est-ce que je vais faire?”

  1. Kate Crimmins avatar

    Perhaps he retired.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      He has. He won’t be catching a darned thing, although it doesn’t stop us from hoping.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Audrey Driscoll avatar

    Maybe the retirement age for cats is 15, so he’s enjoying his golden years.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      He’s certainly enjoying life! And it looks as if Le Rat will have a bit longer to enjoy his, too. 😳

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Audrey Driscoll avatar

        As long as the rat stays outside. 🐀

        Liked by 1 person

        1. iamthesunking avatar

          Oh God, I would die if he brought it indoors.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. mmechapeau avatar
    mmechapeau

    In spring there are often rats that visit the back of our garden. One year, one of them entered our cellar through an opening meant to ventilate our basement. And do you know what? Encountering a rat in your cellar is a lot more traumatic than seeing it wandering the back of your garden. I wish you a happy Easter all the same.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      Joyeuses Pâques! I wouldn’t want Le Rat to enter the house. I can’t tell you how much I really, really would not want that.

      Like

      1. mmechapeau avatar
        mmechapeau

        I can understand you. In my case, it is because of it.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2ONtGMZmZ8

        Liked by 1 person

        1. iamthesunking avatar

          Eurgh, this is a mean-looking rat!

          Like

          1. mmechapeau avatar
            mmechapeau

            Lady and the Tramp is an animated musical romance which wasn’t meant to traumatise kids but, in my case, it sadly did.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. iamthesunking avatar

              Most kids’ TV shows and films did. Did you ever see Watership Down?

              Like

            2. mmechapeau avatar
              mmechapeau

              Actually, I didn’t watch that kind of stuff as a kid.

              My memories are those of a mother watching e.g. Bambi with her kids at the cinema and crying with them when Bambi’s mother is shot and killed by a hunter.

              Liked by 1 person

            3. iamthesunking avatar

              I’ve never actually seen Bambi, for this very reason. 😵‍💫

              Like

  4. Joey Jones avatar
    Joey Jones

    I think your cat is a compassionate soul x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      Nah, if he’s giving that impression he’s lying! He’s the devil himself! 😈

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Joey Jones avatar
    Joey Jones

    🤣 soo funny

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Herman avatar
    Herman

    There’s a rat in me garden (kitchen) what am I gonna do? (x2)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      He’s clearly not gonna fix that rat. 😳

      Liked by 1 person

  7. sevencatsandcounting avatar

    Perhaps it’s different in the UK, but on this size of the pond, rats tend to be quite hefty in size. Surely you wouldn’t expect Catorze to take on a rodent almost as large as himself?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      Erm, he would absolutely do it. This one at least a third his size, maybe more: https://louiscatorze.com/2017/06/16/il-y-a-un-rat-dans-ma-chambre-quest-ce-que-je-vais-faire/

      Liked by 1 person

  8. cat9984 avatar

    Perhaps you have not shown the proper respect for his earlier hunting skills. Or he may be retired from hunting.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      If “proper respect” means shuddering and swearing, I can assure you that we did.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Dr. CaSo avatar

    I think Louis just likes to do the opposite of what you want him to do, like kids. So maybe do your best to prevent him from catching the rat, telling no in no uncertain terms, making sure he understands that he is not to kill that rat under any circumstance! And then tadaaaaa, you’ll find a dead rat in your bedroom 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      You are correct. He is exactly like that. 😒

      Like

  10. M - avatar

    “asleep in his freezer bag” LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      I wish I were joking.

      Like

  11. Belle avatar
    Belle

    A rat one third his size? I sympathise with your predicament… I grew up dodging rats in New Yorks’ streets & subways. Quite a few would give world heavyweight fighters a run for their money. Google “Pizza Rat” for just one example of their nongiveashit attitude…🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      Eww, pizza rat! 😱 I have a family member who lives in New York so I have heard all about the monster rats there!

      Like

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