How are you feeling right now?
Honestly? I’m feeling quite relieved that someone else’s cats are bigger shites than mine. This doesn’t often happen so, please, just let me have my moment here.
My sister and her family have been cast out of their living room due to a feline/murine takeover. Louis Catorze’s cat-cousin Otis brought in a live, chonky mouse and released it into some unknown part of the living room, invisible to human eyes. The humans barricaded Otis and his sister, Roux, in the room, in the hope that the confinement would somehow force them to catch the mouse.
It didn’t.
Hours later, my sister opened the living room door to find no mouse, and the cats happily napping.
Otis and Roux clearly felt that their work started and ended with bringing the mouse indoors so, as soon as this was done, they clocked off and refused to engage in any further conversation about it.
Catorze may be a massive shite but, back in the day, when he have the inclination to hunt, at least he had the decency to finish the job (although we were ousted from our bedroom in order to achieve this).
The family WhatsApp discussion then turned to the best substances to place in a humane mouse trap, with peanut butter, jam, nuts, marshmallows (?) and cheese all being mooted. I don’t know whether my sister has tried them all but, if she doesn’t, it’s likely that she will end up with a new housemate.
In fact, she could very well try them all and STILL end up with a new (and even chonkier) housemate.
Mesdames et Messieurs, The Uprising has officially begun.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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