We have a Code Bleu situation here. Well, not HERE, but in CR4, the manor of Boots, usurper stepbrother of Antoine, Louis Catorze’s frère-from-another-mère.
Remember Boots and his penchant for losing his Chelsea collars? Well, he is now down to his last one, but we can’t buy him any more because the Chelsea Megastore is out of stock. They don’t even have an “Email me when back in stock” option. I suppose we could contact the club to ask but, let’s face it, nobody wants additional contact with Chelsea if they can possibly avoid it.
Now, we could, of course, just wait for the stock to replenish, but we have no way of knowing whether this might be days, weeks or months. In the meantime, the likelihood is that Boots will lose his solitary remaining Chelsea collar and end up collarless.
This absolutely cannot be, because the bell on his collar serves as a valuable alert to Antoine. Antoine really needs to know that his usurper stepbrother is at large, because Boots can be a bit mean to him.
The obvious thing would be to put him in some sort of interim collar, but here are the issues that we face:
- It absolutely must be a football collar. (Don’t ask why. It just does.)
- The featured football team ought to have nasty, thuggish fans; a jolly, community-based club just isn’t very Boots.
The other problem, of course, is that many football clubs sell dog collars, but there are very few cat ones available. That said, Boots is such a meaty chonkosaurus that a collar for a small dog could work.
After some searching, we discovered a limited collection of horrible-team cat collars.
*Not an awful club, but local to Boots.
**Covers all bases, being the common denominator between all horrible clubs.
Please vote for your favourite or for the funniest, whichever you feel is more appropriate.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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