When I told Cat Daddy that Louis Catorze didn’t eat his premium fish sautéd in goat’s butter, I thought he would be absolutely livid, with the Unrepeatable Expletives flowing like a burst dam.
However, instead he said, “Did you season it?”
Sorry? So this is MY FAULT for creating a bland meal for our cat?
Me: “I don’t think you’re meant to give salt and pepper to cats.”
Cat Daddy: “Maybe not salt and pepper. Maybe those nori seaweed flakes that you use?”
Me: “…”
Him: “Or maybe he only likes fish if it’s smoked? We should buy one of those smoking machines, like they have on Great British Menu?”
Me: “…”
I think the craziness of everything that’s going on in the world has dulled the part of my brain that understands what’s a joke and what’s not.
Anyway, perhaps a smoking machine would be a good birthday present for Catorze, who will turn fifteen at the end of this month. All we have to do is work out whether to go for the premium or the “budget” model, and where on earth we will put it.
*EDIT: I ended up making fishcakes out of the remaining freezer pieces of fish. It took me 9,632 hours and they weren’t very nice, 5/10 at the most.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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