And in today’s episode of Unidentified Crud Found On My Cat, we have … well, what exactly DO we have? Nobody knows. Nor does anyone really want to get close enough to find out. 

Louis Catorze came in from outside looking like this:

Good grief.

We think the offending substance could be any one of the following: 

  1. Slug/snail juice.
  2. Bird shit.
  3. “Maybe someone finally had enough and spat on him” (Cat Daddy’s suggestion).

All are contenders but, somehow, the idea of Catorze annoying someone so much that they resorted to spitting on him, although both repulsive and weird, is also understandable. We’ve never done it, of course. Mainly because we didn’t think of it. 

I ought to be used to Unidentified Crud Found On My Cat, since Catorze’s big brother Luther would come indoors covered in all sorts, including bright green powder (below) and a film of translucent jelly that pulsed and moved. 

We never found out what this was.

However, I still couldn’t quite bring myself to clean the Catorzian mess, especially as Catorze would have fought me every step of the way. So Cat Daddy was the hero on this occasion and spared me the headache. (And, of course, the little sod didn’t fight his papa. He didn’t so much as squeak.)

Mesdames et Messieurs, IT IS STILL WINTER. What is Catorze going to be like in the warmer months, when he’s spending more time outdoors and there is more Unidentified Crud to be discovered?

For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com

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16 responses to “Je crache sur ton chat ”

  1. mmechapeau avatar
    mmechapeau

    Congratulations to Cat Daddy. Did he investigate the nature of « the offending substance » after tearing it off from Louis’s hair?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      It didn’t need tearing off. It was soft so it wiped off easily. 🤢

      Like

    2. mmechapeau avatar
      mmechapeau

      If it was easy to wipe, no fight was actually needed 😺 .

      Liked by 1 person

      1. iamthesunking avatar

        This is Catorze. He would’ve fought me anyway.

        Like

      2. mmechapeau avatar
        mmechapeau

        Poor you, life can be infair, can’t it?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. iamthesunking avatar

          That’s Catorzian life for you!

          Like

  2. Ellen Hawley avatar

    You live in an interesting neighborhood. All our cats bring in are mice, rats, voles, and the occasional mole. All told, I’m not sure I wouldn’t prefer your problems.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      Le Roi once came in smelling from head to toe of weed. Now THAT was interesting.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ellen Hawley avatar

        Ha! Was he mellow and hungry?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. iamthesunking avatar

          The weirdest thing was that such a strong smell, all over his body, couldn’t have been achieved by just hanging around outside with someone. He had to have been INDOORS.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Ellen Hawley avatar

            I’ve never seen a cat smoke, but…

            Liked by 1 person

  3. Kate Crimmins avatar

    My vote is on bird doodoo! Someone swooped him after he annoyed the hell out of them! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      He’s still waging a war with the parakeets, so that’s all too possible!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. cat9984 avatar

    Maybe you just need a multi-colored cat. Then it wouldn’t be so obvious. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar

      Do I want it to be hidden, though? It’s better to know these things, non?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. cat9984 avatar

        That’s probably true

        Liked by 1 person

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