Name your top three pet peeves.
Will seven peeves do? With this many cats all creating havoc, there’s no way I’d be able to narrow it down to just three.
Mercury Retrograde starts today. So, far from cats’ bull- and/or apeshittery calming down after last Friday’s full moon, it’s actually likely to get worse.
This is what our feline contingent have been up to:
Louis Catorze: early morning parkour around the bedroom then, when I switch on the light, emerging from a different part of the room, i.e. NOT FROM WHERE THE NOISE WAS.
Catorze again: screaming absolute bloody murder whilst Cat Daddy was on the phone to the utility company trying to sort out some bills, forcing him to apologise to the call centre operative.
Otis: please refer to the poltergeist/incubus behaviour displayed last week.
Roux: an enabler and sympathiser of her brother’s poltergeist/incubus behaviour.
Mothra: attacking my sister’s new dress whilst it was hanging up.
Rodan: eating my sister’s fake lashes. No, not licking or nibbling them, but actually PUTTING THE ENTIRE THINGS IN HIS MOUTH AND SWALLOWING.
(They were left on a dresser at the time, by the way. He didn’t eat them off my sister’s face, although this is probably only because he didn’t think of it.)
Boots, usurper stepbrother of Antoine, Catorze’s frère-from-another-mère: scrapping so violently with his Neighbourhood Nemesis that he burst an abscess and required expensive emergency vet treatment. And, yes, it was scrapping that caused the abscess in the first place.
Catorze’s cat-auntie Zelva is the only one of them who isn’t being a complete psychopath.
Mercury Retrograde goes on until 15th December … with another full moon at the end. What on earth will we do, other than stock up on vodka?
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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