One of my friends has just been over for our annual cemetery visit and horror fest. (I’m not joking: this is actually what we do together, every October, and it’s become a much-loved tradition.)
Because she has chat-sat Louis Catorze in the past, he knows her well and loves her visits, so I fully expected him to show off in front of her. But I didn’t think things would take THIS kind of turn, despite the fact that embarrassing behaviour is quite the Catorzian trademark.
Obviously there was the usual screaming. But, when we settled down to watch the first of our horror films, the little sod jumped up onto the coffee table where my friend was resting her feet, and deployed that all-too-familiar Hork Hork sound, along with accompanying funky chicken head movements pointed straight at her feet.
I was just about to tell her not to be concerned because Catorze often Hork Horks, only for it to be a false alarm. Fortunately, however, my friend was blessed with more foresight than I and chose to move her feet away. Just as she did so, the little sod puked all over the coffee table and on the ruinously-expensive Harris tweed cushion upon which he was perched, RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR GUEST.
My friend is a cat person so she wasn’t fazed by this in the slightest, despite the fact that Catorze had been aiming for her feet and had done everything possible to give her a ringside seat for this horror show. I, however, want to take a walk into a wooded area and die of embarrassment. Imagine the shame of your cat trying deliberately to puke on your friend’s feet … and being incompetent enough to miss.
Cat Daddy: “That’s it: we’re never having friends round again. Or we’re rehoming him. One or the other.”
I’ll let you know when he’s decided which option he’s chosen.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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