What snack would you eat right now?
Clearly nothing. Bastard cat.
Cat Daddy and I can’t abide food waste. So it really hurts us to be throwing away perfectly edible Orijen – especially as it’s more expensive than cocaine and gold combined – just because a certain little shit doesn’t like the way we’ve served it.
One of the benefits of Louis Catorze was that he didn’t have set mealtimes. So not only were we able to give him food if we were going out, knowing that he would happily eat it later when he was hungry, but we could tell chat-sitteurs to feed him when it suited them, not upon his command. However, if you’re having to pour boiling water onto his food, he doesn’t like it if it’s been left to soak in for ages. Once the food has absorbed too much water and gone soggy, he’s not interested.
The obvious answer to this would be to feed him only when he looks hungry. I thought this was a pretty foolproof method when it came to minimising waste: just wait until he’s circling his plate like a hungry saltwater crocodile and screaming bloody murder, right? Well, so I thought … until he looked at my labour-intensive offering, sniffed it, walked away and went outside.
He’d just been screaming for me to hurry up, SECONDS BEFOREHAND.
Cat Daddy noticed the same thing, and wondered whether Catorze just liked to know before going out that there would be food there when he returned. I can’t imagine how any animal would have evolved to think this – after all, leaving food unattended in the wild would mean some impinger taking advantage, non?
So now we can’t feed him if he’s not asking for food, nor can we feed him if he IS asking for food.
We don’t understand this animal. Someone, please, help us out here.


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