Le long monsieur aux longues jambes


Summer is over, and spider season is here. And there is a spider in the bathroom whom I have named, erm, Peter Crouch.

Hello, mate.

He lives behind the toilet and usually keeps to himself but, every now and again, he scuttles out when I flush, as if perturbed by the noise. I don’t really mind him being there but I wouldn’t want him hiding in a toilet roll and then being scooped up and shoved somewhere unmentionable.

Louis Catorze eats bugs, which is a wonderful thing. However, he is highly selective about the ones he eats. If it’s one that is far away and minding its own business and, in fact, you didn’t even know it was there, oui. If it’s right in his face, then it’s a firm NON.

I don’t know if this is a near/far-sightedness problem, or whether it’s just him being an arse. Most likely it’s a bit of each.

Last night I tried to encourage him into the bathroom to help me out with Peter. Naturellement he wasn’t playing ball, despite the fact that he has been happy to interrupt me in there at various inappropriate moments when I HAVEN’T wanted his company. Eventually I had to grab him and place him next to Peter, but he couldn’t see him and just randomly sniffed around, whining.

I placed him back there again, this time with his face close to Peter. Nope.

I placed him back there again, this time with his whiskers ACTUALLY TOUCHING ONE OF PETER’S LONG LEGS. Still a nope.

Me: “You’re just not going to do this, are you?”

Catorze: “Mwah!”

I am now going to have to ask Cat Daddy to rehome Peter, which he will do but he will resent it every step of the way as he sees this kind of thing as very much Catorze’s job. He is already piqued at the fact that he has to chase away the squirrels and the parakeets, so this request is not going to go down well.

EDIT: Cat Daddy dealt with Peter but, the next day, there was a startlingly similar spider in the bath. Did Peter come back, or have we cruelly separated a spider couple?

Pretending to be on Bug Watch but, in reality, doing absolutely nothing.

24 thoughts on “Le long monsieur aux longues jambes

  1. KitKat killed a MASSIVE spider the other day. I didn’t even know it was there (I thought she was chasing a fly) until it was already dead, thank Bastet (because I would have had to find a way to leave my house ASAP and without touching the ground even though I’m bed-bound, and then set the whole place on fire) and then after a while (because my eyesight is terrible but I never wear my glasses) I saw her sitting next to this large black ball and I was like “that can’t be a ball of her fur, can it?” (it actually could but it doesn’t usually clump together that big without help, plus despite being black her fur comes off grey) and put my glasses on and HOLY DUCKS.

    Thankfully she didn’t try to eat this one, presumably because it was too large to fit in her mouth, but I did have the dubious pleasure of hearing her chomping on one not long after I first adopted her years ago, which was a both disturbing and weirdly pleasing. My agoraphobia has lessened significantly since I got her, because I see them scurrying across the floor now and just go “Ha! You’re gonna get ate!”

    Except she won’t go near the spindly ones that have a body the size of a pin head and legs the length of a ball of yarn. I don’t know if she doesn’t see them because they don’t move and they’re so wispy, or if they tickle when she tries to eat them so she doesn’t try anymore, or if there’s just no point because there’s no meat to them? This might be His Majesty’s problem, also: he may not even be able to see them, so when you put his whiskers on Pete, he was probably wondering how you were tickling him without hands. O_O

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, KitKat! What a good girl! Wanna swap cats? Sa Maj happily eats flies which have even less meat, so he can’t use that as an excuse. 😐

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hmmm. But flies don’t have legs longer than them, so the meat is maybe proportional…? 🧐

        Oh, she is a very good cat, and it is for that reason that I tell you: nyet! Much as I’d love to meet His Maj in person, I adore my princess far too much to send her away 🥹

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Mr. Bowie ate almost all bugs and all spiders that crossed his path. Jimi is, just like Louis, very selective concerning eating spiders. I’m always trying to save their lives if possible…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. In our previous (big) apartment, Miss Penny killed everything, from spiders to butterflies to whasps to every small weird bug. Every morning I would find tons of bug cadavers by the windows and in the house. She didn’t eat them, maybe to ensure that I was aware of how hard she worked for me, or because she left them as presents for me to eat 😉 In our new (small) apartment, she no longer does anything! The other day I found a huge spider (it was Esmeralda) in our curtains and, well, Esmeralda is still there and very much alive. Maybe Miss Penny has decided to retire?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow, Miss Penny! Bon effort! Maybe she’s stopped because she thinks it’s time you did your bit, for a change? 🤣🤣🤣

      Liked by 1 person

  4. From what I have read and observed, cats can’t see things directly under their noses, and their vision is more cued to movement than to acute seeing. But probably Louis just wants to annoy you. What you picture is what is often a Daddy-Long-Legs or a Harvestman. Don’t know how they compare for tastiness tp Sa Maj.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Peter Crouch !!!!
    Ours are a bit random in their spider killing, but I always hope that with 6 cats they manage to keep the majority at bay…..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know of so many cats who are the same as Catorze, and they catch the ones who are small or unobtrusive and leave the whoppers.

      Liked by 1 person

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