I have been spending some time researching new food for Louis Catorze. Some lines of investigation have proven to be, erm, less successful than others:
I emailed one promising new brand to ask a question about their food and, to my astonishment, they replied telling me they loved Catorze’s blog. At the time I was a few Crémants down and I thought, “Wow, I must be drunker than I thought, because I don’t even remember telling them about Le Blog.” When I checked back through my email to them, I realised that I hadn’t.
This must mean one of the following:
1. They are the sort of people who Google their customers’ cats’ names (which, frankly, is absolutely great and makes me want to buy from them irrespective of what their food is like).
2. Catorze’s infamy is spreading faster than Covid (which is, erm, not so not great).
Cat Daddy, being a marketer, decided to Google “Louis Catorze”, just out of curiosity. He had expected to only find results relating to the human Sun King, and perhaps a helpful note from the good folk at Google saying, “Did you mean Louis Quatorze?” But, instead, he discovered this:
Cat Daddy: “Oh my God. Louis is the top result of the Google search. People pay millions for this!”
Anyway, now that we can visibly see Sa Maj getting better, we have decided to give this company a chance. They’re called The Cool Cat Club, which is something of an irony as Catorze is about the least cool thing there is, and the Groucho Marxist in me would question any club willing to accept the little sod as a member, but tant pis. The good news is that they appear to have everything that the pre-takeover Lily’s Kitchen used to have – high protein, no grain or nasty fillers, compostable packaging – plus they donate food to cat rescues with every purchase. We’re excited.
Yes, we are excited about cat food. This probably means we ought to get out more, but at least we can use lockdown as an excuse.
If you fancy checking out the potential new suppliers of la cuisine royale, here they are: http://thecoolcatclub.com
jesuisleroisoleil 
With his standing on Google you should hire, soon, a good media lawyer and an agent. Pretty soon the marketing people will be on to this. He’ll have to wear shades for his expeditions out front. Play it right and you’ll be able to live in the style you’d like to become accustomed to.
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Hahaha! A lawyer is definitely a good idea. At the moment our current approach to his shenanigans is just to deny everything if asked. 😳
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Ok, next step is to make sure Louis Catorze likes it.
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And, considering he doesn’t like food, that will be quite the challenge!
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It is better than googling how to dispose of giant rats ! Though those search results are certainly amazing.
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Eurgh. I want to look but I daren’t.
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https://nypost.com/2020/11/09/purina-debuts-dog-and-cat-food-made-with-fly-larvae/
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🤢🤢🤢
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I googled it too and after your blog was: Louis Cat Orze: The Mystery Of The Queen’s Necklace Download (1995 Educational Game). What has the sun king been up to now? 🙂
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I need to try out this game!
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I’m trying to find an alternative good quality food so have emailed them, thanks for the heads up xxxx
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Are your gang wet, dry or both? Catorze is dry only, and the percentage of meat in the dry food is very impressive.
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Both. But a good proportion of meat in dry food is great!
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This google thing is as it should be: Catorze’s blog belongs in the google top ten!
Oh, and if you are trying the new food, the best thing is to mix it gradually into his old food, so he can get used to it in steps.
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Yup. That is the plan. Don’t want him puking it up or refusing to eat it!
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Excusez moi, are you genuinely surprised that Sa Maj is number 1? May I remind you, Madam, qu’il est LE Roi Soleil! 😼 👑 Now about that red carpet and personal taster you’re going to need for Le Chateau…
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A personal taster for someone who wraps their chops around rats? 🤣🤣🤣
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Perhaps they’re…marinated 😹
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Marinated cat food? Très fancy!
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