Huis Clos (Partie 2)

Louis Catorze’s course of eye ointment came to an end on Thursday. (It should have been Wednesday but I did an extra dose to make up for the night when we got drunk and forgot one.)

Although administering it was horrible, towards the end of the course he’d even started coming for post-meds cuddles, although I imagine this is because he’s so thick he forgot he’d just been medicated. It’s hard to know whether he’s healing as he looks ok from some angles and awful from others, but he seems to be in good spirits. He’s been well enough to be out at all hours in yesterday’s storm, and also well enough to dig up our bulbs, resulting in unrepeatable expletives OF THE WORST KIND from Cat Daddy. (And, before you say anything, it wasn’t the foxes this time. It was definitely Catorze.)

In other news, the little sod imprisoned us in the house the other day.

Every night we double-lock the front door but leave keys nearby, close enough for us to grab in the event of fire, alien invasion or zombie apocalypse, but not so close that a psycho with a fishing rod and a magnet could reach through the letterbox and grab them.

A few days ago, in the early hours of the morning, I heard the sound of keys downstairs. Sure enough, Catorze had been playing with the emergency set and had kicked/pushed them to some unknown location, possibly under the sofa or between the floorboards. Only he knows where they are, and he ain’t telling.

In short, he had locked us in the house.

Cat Daddy, later that day: “But we have other keys. It’s not as if we had no way of getting out.”

Me: “But that’s not the point. He didn’t know that. His intent was the same.”

Cat Daddy: “…”

Me: “Like when people are convicted for attempted murder instead of actual murder and end up getting a lesser sentence. They still meant to kill, and it was just by chance that the victim got lucky and survived.”

[Silence, tumbleweed, crickets]

Cat Daddy: “I don’t think you’re really comparing like for like.”

Anyway, Catorze naturellement gives zéro shites about causing trouble, and meanwhile we were the ones scrabbling around to find a new place to put our keys (although we still haven’t found the first set).

It’s a scary day when protecting your house from external psychos/demons is easy, yet it’s the psycho/demon WITHIN that poses the greatest challenge.

“Keys? Non. Haven’t seen them.”

31 thoughts on “Huis Clos (Partie 2)

    1. Yes, you’re probably right! Or we will find them at the same time that I find the puke I heard him doing in May 2016 (or maybe 2018) but have never found.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Erm…Methinks he gave them to his Partners In Feline Crime, Halloween Committee. I’d advise you to sleep with one eye open, although I suspect you already do…🙀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This isn’t great, is it? In horror movies, when the security guard loses his keys, it never ends well.


  2. Oh Louis Catorze … where the fluff are those keys?
    My guess, although I like the idea of the teleporting, is that he has them hidden somewhere in order to open the door and invite his black fellow felines (and creepy guests) on halloween 🎃 for a surprise party 😸

    Liked by 1 person

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