L’œil du tigre

It’s my birthday weekend.

Under normal circumstances Cat Daddy would be taking me out to our favourite pub, but we won’t be going anywhere as he’s had a text from the NHS telling him to isolate for two weeks. (He received the text on Wednesday, asking him to stay at home for 14 days starting THE PREVIOUS THURSDAY. Figure that one out if you can.)

I myself don’t have to isolate because Cat Daddy hasn’t tested positive, nor does he have symptoms, but I don’t really feel like going out and partying on my own. So, as well as doing all the errands that Cat Daddy can’t do because he isn’t allowed out, and not welcoming guests because nobody is allowed in either, I will be mostly spending the weekend pilling and ointmenting Louis Catorze.

In short, the males in this household have ruined everything.

After my initial horror and despair at the prospect of having to smear something into Catorze’s eyes whilst he screamed, flailed and slashed at me with his killer claws, I began to faintly recall him having had the same eye ointment before.

Now, most people usually know straight away whether or not their cat has had a particular type of medication before but, over time, Catorze has consumed more drugs than a Colombian mule, so it’s quite hard to remember everything. However, as well as providing the civic service of making everyone feel grateful that they don’t have to live with him, Le Blog also serves the useful purpose of being an accurate medical record for Catorze. A quick search revealed that he’d had the same ointment two years ago, that time when he cut his eye (and stupid Cat Daddy wouldn’t believe me when I said I’d seen blood and kept insisting that it was blackberry juice):


Unfortunately 2018 Me has not been able to offer any sage advice to 2020 Me as regards how to administer it – Catorze was a bastard then and, if anything, has got worse rather than better – so I am no further forward in terms of how to get the stuff into his eyes without being ripped to shreds. Plus, the last time, it was just one eye. This time it’s both.

Anyway, today is Day 1 and thankfully the course is only five days long. Although I’m sorely tempted to make Cat Daddy do the deed since he’s the one at home.

🎵 … And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night, and he’s watching us all with the EYE … 🎶”

21 thoughts on “L’œil du tigre

  1. Joyeux anniversaire! Or not… Eye treatments are just dreadful. When Phelps was still kittenish, an emergency vet tried to demonstrate how to apply thrice daily eye treatments. The vet was a huge man, at least six foot and well over 200 pounds. Ex (American) football player, I’m guessing. Phelps brought him down and pinned him to the examination table. Under 10 pounds of furry, tuxedo rage brought down a trained human veterinary behemoth.

    So, yeah, happy birthday and good luck with the eye treatments. Whatever you can squirt or adjacent or somewhere in the sort of vicinity (eg squirt lands in the kitchen and not in the living room if you are in the kitchen, or vice versa) is worth a restorative bottle or more of wine.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh my! Phelps! 😱😱😱 Catorze was the same when he needed to have a blood test: 4 x adult humans couldn’t pin him down, so we had to reschedule the appointment and this time go for sedation. (For him, although we could have done with it, too.)

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Happy Birthday! 😊 At risk of being laughed out of the comments,perhaps sneaking up on Catorze whilst he’s deep asleep and quickly prying eyes open with one finger on each eyelid and applying a bit of ointment? Have you ever tried to towel burrito him? 🤔

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! And sneaking up on him whilst he’s asleep is the only way of doing this. If I’m fast enough I can do both eyes, but it’s like poking a sleeping dragon and then trying to run away. 🐉

      Liked by 1 person

        1. I know. I’m thinking of loudly saying, “You’re going to be medicated at 10am” and then ambushing the little shite at 9am.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Happy Purrthday to you !`

    Can’t you and Cat Daddy “burrito ” him in a towel and whoever isn’t holding him put the ointment in ?
    “Teamwork makes the dream work” but it might work on the nightmare too.

    I once scratched a cornea and the ER gave me ointment (not drops) to put in MYSELF. Which is pretty tricky, but at least didn’t involve scratching and biting.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! When I did the first dose I found it best to sneak up on him when he was asleep. It’s now 10pm and I am waiting for him to settle to do the second dose, but the little weasel is bouncing around all over the place.


  4. Happy Birthday! This year Lily left me a dead rat for mine…

    And as above, I second the idea of wrapping…tuck paws and toe knives firmly into something thick with the rest of his body, and apply treatment. Or go for secondary rapping…sing him a rap so awful he opens his eyes wide in horror and apply treatment…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! And … what a lovely gift! 😬

      One small blessing is that it’s the inner corners of his eyes, and it’s easier to get the ointment there than it is to get them actually inside. He’s still a total shite, though. 😐

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Have you tried the cat burrito approach to ointment time? Wrap Louis Catorze in a towel thick and large enough to secure him, and make the wrap tight and securer enough so that he can’t thrash around too much. With a little practice, it becomes easy enough to wrap a cat. Hold the “burrito” like a baby in a blanket, and apply the ointment. LC won’t be any happier, but you and he will be safer for the shorter time the process takes. This worked really well with medicating two different kitty boys!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve not tried yet but that might be the next step if ointmenting becomes a longer-term thing … 😱😱😱


      1. It works for me. I hope it spares you some grief if you try it and it works. I guarantee you’ll still have a cat fighting it, but you just need to get it wrapped sufficiently tight enough to keep the legs immobilized.

        Liked by 1 person

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