louiscatorze.com

An Amazon parcel arrived at Le Château the other day. 

Me: “Is that for me?”

Cat Daddy: “No, it’s for Louis.”

Me: “It is not.”

Him: “Yes, it is. I bought it for him.”

Me: “You bought him a present?”

Him, on the defensive: “Yes! What’s wrong with that? Can’t I buy my cat a present if I want?”

I was quite unsettled by this highly atypical turn of events, especially as Cat Daddy is always complaining about Louis Catorze’s shit cluttering up the house, but I decided to just go along with it. 

The present is a set of silvervine sticks. You’re likely to have heard of them if you’re a cat person but, if not, they’re a hallucinogenic drug for cats, akin to catnip. So it seems that Cat Daddy just wanted to watch his boy get stoned and have a good laugh about it. 

Anyway, as if to spite his papa, Catorze isn’t remotely interested in his new toys. He absolutely couldn’t give a shite. So now we’re stuck with five silvervine sticks that will never be used, and Cat Daddy declares that he will never buy Catorze a present again. No, not even if he makes his seventeenth birthday. 

Here is Catorze, displaying his utter indifference: 

For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com