Houseguest Matt came good with the toxin-free mascara.

And it seems that any old plebby mascara simply wouldn’t do for his cher ami: he spent quite some time in the beauty section of the organic shop trying various brands to find one with the perfect consistency. And, when a curious sales assistant passed by to see if he needed help, he told them, “It’s for a cat.”

“Well, I had to say something,” he later said, “otherwise they would have thought it were for me.”

Right. What a relief to know he saved himself THAT embarrassment.

Anyway … as well as buying the mascara, Houseguest Matt was also kind enough to offer to do the deed, which was a tremendous relief. I warned him of Louis Catorze’s tendency to kick and struggle like a psycho in situations such as these, but he insisted that he was tough enough for the task … and I was left looking really stupid when the little shit purred and rolled for Houseguest Matt and even went to him for cuddles afterwards. (In the last picture you can even see a bit of mascara still on his finger.)

Whether this succeeds in assuaging the tail-chasing is yet to be seen. But it seems that Louis Catorze’s soulmate count has increased by 100%. And, with TWO people in the house who are more adept than I at applying substances to la personne royale, this means I am officially exempt from this horror forever more.