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Sa Majesté Louis Catorze, Le Roi Soleil, supreme ruler of Le Château, sworn enemy of canine foe and scourge of Ocado delivery drivers.

La limace

In true Catorzian style, despite the happiness of yesterday it seems we have crashed to an all-time low here at Le Château: at around 1am, Louis Catorze decided to bring in a live slug and deposit it on my pillow as I slept. What kind of individual DOES this?

Cat Daddy, waking up and almost rupturing his internal organs as he stifled his laughter, helpfully informed me that “it could have been worse”. NO, IT COULD NOT. Except, perhaps, for a worm falling out of Catorze’s arse – which I actually thought this was at first, until the cold temperature of its body reassured me (if, indeed, one can be “reassured” by such a thing) – there is very little that is worse than touching something cold and jelly-like in the middle of the night, then discovering that it is a pulsing, writhing slug.

I may never recover from this. Here’s Louis Catorze, not really giving a shit whether I do or I don’t:

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16 responses to “La limace”

  1. Miila Poyer-sleeman avatar
    Miila Poyer-sleeman

    Un cadeau pour maman

    Sent from my Sony Xperia™ smartphone

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    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Une limace! 😖

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  2. lifecatsotherthings avatar
    lifecatsotherthings

    Aww, but he was bringing you a little present.

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    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      HE PUT A SLUG ON MY PILLOW! 😖

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  3. barrybdoyle avatar
    barrybdoyle

    I love that face…he’s so proud and those are the best, most beautiful and “happy cheeks” I’ve ever seen. The fact that it was delivered to your pillow, means certainly that it’s a gift, as he endured the transport of such a thing in his mouth for some distance, it’s quite a little gift of devotion. They just think differently than we do.

    Sorry to say, for your sake, that I did laugh.

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  4. Raven Moore avatar
    Raven Moore

    “But Mama! Its a special gift of love for you.” (It could be worse. I got one that brings me almost-dead-but-still-twitching spiders as love gifts). And they are usually large and either hairy or poisonous. If that ain’t love…

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    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Oh my goodness! Yes, a large, undead, poisonous spider would be considerably worse! 😧

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      1. Raven Moore avatar
        Raven Moore

        She is 10 yrs old and has lived her whole life indoors. She also plays fetch. Wish I could share a pic of Miss Cricket. Her hunt-gift instincts are not satisfied by chasing her toys though and after a mild Oklahoma winter the spider population explodes so I like the kitties playing with the house spiders to death just wish I didn’t have to find these presents under my feet- or like you- in my bed.

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  5. La joie est un escargot rampant | jesuisleroisoleil

    […] 1. How did it get into the house? (Cat Daddy: “I think we both know the answer to that one.” And, regretfully, he has a point, because Louis Catorze has previous when it comes to bringing in slugs and snails. In case you missed the worst incident, here it is: https://louiscatorze.com/2016/04/03/la-limace/) […]

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  6. Plus de place à l’auberge | jesuisleroisoleil

    […] https://louiscatorze.com/2016/04/03/la-limace/ […]

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  7. Le petit déjeuner au lit | jesuisleroisoleil

    […] bowl, but I wouldn’t put it past him. After all, this is the same individual who thought to drop a slug onto my pillow in the middle of the […]

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  8. La limace (Partie 2) | jesuisleroisoleil

    […] thing is that we can’t trust Catorze not to do it again, since he has previous when it comes to undesirable encounters with slugs and a general propensity for doing exactly the opposite of what we […]

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. Oh la vache! | jesuisleroisoleil

    […] my bed, having been transported by cats. Surely nothing residing on/in the cow could be worse than THIS horror (not an actual bug but still […]

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  10. Un rendez-vous avec la gouvernante | jesuisleroisoleil

    […] 1. The slug. […]

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  11. Dis juste non | jesuisleroisoleil

    […] and there are also incidents such as this one. And this […]

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  12. Dix ans d’esclavage – louiscatorze.com

    […] The slug. Eurgh.  […]

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