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A new species of wild cat has been discovered in the forests of Bolivia. The Tigrino – or Leopardus Tilcayo, if you are ever cross with it and want to shout at it using its full name – is an entirely new species to biological science. Humans have been aware of it for a little while, but originally misidentified it as a “lost kitten” (chortle).

It turns out that our forests and jungles are teeming with tiny cats, most of whom remain below our radar on account of their tiny size and secretive ways. This one (below) is not a new species, but it’s rarely seen, and it’s so little that it could fit into the palm of one’s hand:

This has tremendous consequences for us. First, the feline army is actually stronger in number than we had originally anticipated, which is bad news for humans when The Uprising happens. 

Also, I have always had a feeling that Louis Catorze isn’t a normal cat, and this discovery means that I was probably right all along. How many more of us are living with these freakish halfling beasts, knowing full well that something feels off yet unable to prove it?

For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com